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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To See You Hurtdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DontSaveMySoul
    ASL Info:    20/m/cali
    Elite Ratio:    3.84 - 194/184/42
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Dark
    Total Views: 277
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 769



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo See You Hurtdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I WANT TO
    See you drown in me
    Bring you down with me
    See you bound to me

    AND I WILL JUMP
    AT ANY CHANCE
    TO SEE YOU
    See you lie for me
    Make you cry for me
    See you die for me

    AND AS YOU KNOW
    IT"S NEVER ENOUGH
    TO MAKE YOU
    Make you bleed for me
    Hear your need for me
    Make you dream of me

    AND I WILL FUCKING
    THROW IT AWAY
    TO HEAR YOU
    Hear you plea for me
    Know what you'll be for me
    Hear you scream for me

    AND AFTER ALL THIS
    IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH

    AND AFTER ALL THIS
    YOU WERE NEVER ENOUGH

    AND AFTER ALL THIS
    I WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH




    Submitted on 2006-03-19 01:58:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well this is very honest, very emotional. And I think it would work very well as a song. And I hope that you find the person who wants to sacrifice themselves, self destruct for you. It's very sad, that kind of thing gets me off. I'm a sick person. Ha. But, considering the fact that this little but was about that kind of abuse, sacrifice for the other person, I feel less sick, and rather just simply honest.
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      part of how much I like this song really depends on what it sounds like.....for one thing it'd change depending on who's singing it, how hard the music is etc. I could see this being rock...maybe even almost industrial, I liked the lyrics themselves a lot. *notices other comments* wow, theres a lot more to feel than anger.....usually anger doesn't just happen, there's other feelings and sometimes betrayal of those feelings that make that anger more real. Your words poured right into each other and the emotion followed really well, I'm actually impressed, most people that post lyrics on here don't get much of a thought process from me.....just cause they have no deeper meaning a lot of the time.
    anyway I Liked this 1 alot I'll have to read some more of your stuff next time I get a chance.
    peace,
    ~jess
    | Posted on 2006-11-05 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Like inkpen (stupid ass name) I think this can be some form of music, I love it, it's that dark way of how you love someone...It's an exellent portrayal of you spilling out your emotions for someone, and it's art, it's you...Okay Im sounding like one of those phoney ass over exagerrating artists you see on tv...But I love the flow of this poem, and how dark it was...Im amazed by your writtings, keep it up...
    | Posted on 2006-10-21 00:00:00 | by Crestfallenman | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good. I do believe that this could be a successful rock song. I can already hear it on the readio. Keep it up.
    LeAnna
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      I could feel anger as I was reading this. I think it might have been seeping out of the computer
    I thought the caps were great, they really showed more how angery you were. It had an awesome flow! Nice job
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      looks like I'm not the only one that is having anger right now. the caps on the words help to get the point that you are pissed and you want people to know it. the flow of the words is great making it a lot easier to understand where you are coming from. I like it because I can relate to it in more way then one.
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by ryuunokanojo | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh i really like the repition in this piece. There was so much anger that i actually started feeling angry while reading this piece. Im not sure if i should have or not but i did. Anyways, VERY good job at releases emotion and getting your point across. Talk to you soon! Amber
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]



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