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    dots Submission Name: Time by Sunrise and Moonsetdots

    Author: Morticus
    ASL Info:    24/f/ID
    Elite Ratio:    2.91 - 16/17/9
    Words: 97
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 794
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 730

       whatever anyone wants to write will make me happy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTime by Sunrise and Moonsetdots

    Crashing suns and soaring moons,
    Fiery trails across the sky,
    Creamy glow and Milky residue.
    Phoenix tail and Griffon’s breath
    Murky pearlescent sheen against
    Glittering beacons of hope
    Warriors in the night, having conquered
    The flames of day
    The weakened soldier of morning
    Is swallowed whole by the
    Obsidian blade of pitch
    Triumphantly waving its banner of starlight
    Twinkling beams of victory
    On the battlefield of broken rays
    Slain suns lie in rest
    Glory sleeping, and valor spilling its
    Inky liquid over the sky.
    Until the dawn.
    When the light will rise again.

    Submitted on 2006-03-19 16:31:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      a good poem because it tells a good story. one of light and dark, but it doesnt really say who wins... good work (and dont think it sucks)
    | Posted on 2007-01-21 00:00:00 | by Ben Henzel | [ Reply to This ]
      It was so...fantasy. I loved it. Images trailed through my head throughout this one. Lovely write. Phoenix tail and Griffon’s breath-This part especially had some interesting pictures in my head. The non-flow of the poem didn't really work, but it was there enough to make sense. Lovely peice with good images and planning. Great job.
    Wishing for more
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      The thought of everyday being a battle for the right to reign over the moment is a beautiful idea. You expressed it impressingly well. A writer without a doubt, you are. I will look forward to more works of yours.

    Semper Fidelis,
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Soulraven | [ Reply to This ]
      wow. That was the first word I thought when I finished this poem. I love the imagery that comes with this. Too many people are afraid of being long-winded and using good descriptions. You captured the image magnificently. I especially liked the lines:

    The weakened soldier of morning
    Is swallowed whole by the
    Obsidian blade of pitch
    Triumphantly waving its banner of starlight
    Twinkling beams of victory
    On the battlefield of broken rays

    Simply wonderful. This was a great refreshment from the empty words I read too often. This one is going in the favorites!

    Thank you
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by Deep_Monty | [ Reply to This ]
      this piece reminds me of something out of harry potter... something mystical and fun... You use very description words, they are sometimes hard to follow througout your piece but they also worked for the over all topic of it i felt at least. I hope to read more pieces from you soon! Im also new to eliteskills but thought i would say welcome. have a wonderful day!
    | Posted on 2006-03-19 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]

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