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    dots Submission Name: window silldots

    Author: __Angel__
    ASL Info:    16/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    2.5 - 13/7/6
    Words: 245
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 578
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1627

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    dotswindow silldots

    Sitting on the window sill
    She looks up at the sky
    She blinks at those stars
    And relieves a great sigh

    Sitting on the window sill
    She thinks about yesterday
    She thinks about those comments
    Following her everyday

    Sitting on the window sill
    Ideas flash through her mind
    Ideas about revenge,
    About the cruelty of mankind

    Sitting on the window sill
    Her teeth she silently grinds
    She thinks of endless questions
    Racing through her mind

    Sitting on the window sill
    She looks down at those scars
    30 painful attempts to die
    30 attempts to go far…

    Sitting on the window sill
    Her heart is beating fast
    She is considering what to do
    Reciting the words she’d say last

    Sitting on the window sill
    She grabs hold of the knife
    Deciding today would be the day
    She gets rid of this life

    Sitting on the window sill
    She feels as the cold steal
    Slices her pale skin...
    A wound that wouldn’t heal

    Sitting on the window sill
    Her tears streaming down her face
    “I hate this world” she says out loud
    “But it’s what I have to face”

    Sitting on the window sill
    She slowly removes the knife
    As it drips with her blood…
    The river of her life

    Sitting on the window sill
    She looks up at the moon
    Reflecting her pale face…
    Her day will come soon…

    Submitted on 2006-03-20 06:13:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the poem especially the repetition aspect of it. But it was a little long winded. If it was cut down by a few stanzas then i think this would be a very commendable piece of work. There was a good sense of feeling throughout whihc is the main reason i enjoyed it so much.
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Mr R | [ Reply to This ]
      I used to be the same way exactly as the girl in the poem. It was written well, and it seems written from the heart. I wish there wasn't so much of that stuff going on now, but there is, and people do write to express their feelings.
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by music1dw | [ Reply to This ]

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