the movement of a yellow sweater blurs an image in her eye
the sounds of steps getting louder until it comes from right behind
a nametag on a fancy dress sporting the name sally
a single bang from a .45 echoes within the alleys...
through involuntary movements the sound of screams fills the sky
all the while the oblivious are unknowingly passing by
she waits for someone to hear her plea's of sexual denies
meanwhile he undresses her while promising "a real good time"
over and done with he scatters leaving her in a daze of awe
cries and cuts crowd her mind and emptyness shadows her thoughts
make-up smeared shows the pains of another fight she knows is lost
her dress lays ripped; 1000 dollars, wasnt the bargain that she bought
the tears now rest on her soft cheeks, collecting into puddled spots
she pulls her broken necklace off and throws down what was once a cross
dignity runs away from her because she knows that he'll never be caught
feelings of a numbing body as she realizes she has been shot
after what seems like hours shes on a stretcher
she screams let me die but the doctors wont let her
2 weeks later and ready for home she feels alive and alot better
inside her cab she notices the cabby's wearing a familiar sweater
This was hard to read. Not gonna lie. It is rape and there's no way to touch upon the subject lightly. Heavy and mentally exhausting as your stomach turns. You placed so many fragments of it that I almost had to stop but I didn't and I am glad because it was worth the read.
The ending being the final blow.
at first i thought this was not very good, but i loved the end. it supplied a shocking twist to the story. the plot is cool.. you might try using words that are not repetative.. like in "all the while the oblivious are unknowingly passing by" "oblivious" and "unknowingly" are repetitions of each other.. how ironic this work you made is.
wow oh my god i have the shivers, this got to me, i have the tingles gouing up my spine, this was fab, its just horrid to think that this realy does happen, you captured every single part of feeling, and the twist at the end was eerily sickning, thanx for sharing x x x x