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    dots Submission Name: His Forlorn Facedots

    Author: melancholymaid
    ASL Info:    24/female/Tennessee
    Elite Ratio:    3.64 - 112/136/34
    Words: 30
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 746
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 211

       I recently left my boyfriend. I lived with him for about four months and was closer to him than any guy I have ever dated. I know he is hurting, but I have to move on. I saw him the other night at the show at Ireson's pub and I don't think he saw me. I ran out because I thought he also spotted me. His face... He looked so lonely. He was sitting in the same booth that we always sat in together. It was all so surreal. I still feel shocked by it. I don't even know what to do. But I wrote this "poem" in my Chemistry class today. I don't really care what anyone thinks about it, but it is personal, I guess. Whatever. Love is the needle in the vein, causing euphoria and then pain. Love is just a word...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHis Forlorn Facedots

    I can't stop seeing his
    Forlorn face,
    in its own sorrow

    I seem lost
    Swirling in the
    Twilight shadow

    Submitted on 2006-03-20 20:50:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Bittersweet and sad..
    it's as if you know you did the right thing leaving..
    yet you still care for and feel somewhat attached to this person.

    A very deep and compelling write. It made me feel the words.

    I kept wanting the last word to be "tomorrow".. I guess because it rhymes with sorrow and would also leave the reader thinking further into what might have been.. (but that's just me)..."nothing" fits okay too...as I'm sure that was the overwhelming feeling at the time.

    Good poem.
    | Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a deep very personal write
    I can tell your heart is huge as in this write you never refer to your own pain only his
    I hope and Pray you can move on from this relationship and use the knowledge you learned to better your life
    Im sure you will
    You seem much too positive to let sadness bring you down
    God Bless
    | Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. It is always hard to break up, especially when you've been such a huge part of each others lives. Who knows? Maybe in the future... You did a great job with this short and beautifully writen poem.

    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Indigo Kid | [ Reply to This ]
      This is terribly chilling and sad. This poem needs nothing and is perfect the way it is. Very, very, very good. Your words were able to capture and sum up your feelings perfectly.

    Keep up the good work and have a blessed day.

    Sometimes these things happen for a reason, maybe presently you can't see that but later down the road it will make itself clear to you.
    Be strong and have faith.
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      this is painful... it is difficult to leave someone you once loved, even though you know it is the right thing for you to do for yourself. i can tell you have deep empathy for him and what he may be going through.. i know it sounds cliché, but time does heal.. the nothingness you feel now will dissipate and hopefully you both will be able to move on.
    this was short and to the point.

    thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]

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