I hate my life and most of all how
you left me to bleed and did the
absolute minimum like I am someone
you felt obligated to for some
half assed reason and then turned
around and made me feel shitty
for ever needing you in the first place.
I deserved more and gave you
all of those precious moments
that were wrapped for only you
and now I am falling in a pit that
is full of snakes and monsters
and little bits of you mixed into
the swirl of what used to be the
way you felt long ago.
The sudden change of climate has
made cloudy questions of What, When,
Where, and most important Why and I
try to make them go away but they
have become my life and the knowing
that I hold no special value while I sit
here flopping on the deck makes me
wonder how long I can do this
without the water that I need...
But then again, maybe its me and maybe
the mistakes I've made have made you
become this entity that haunts me to this
very second and this whole thing is
completely unnecessary and I am crazy
in a Sybil sort of way and you are
just in your attiitude.