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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: We Could Live As Onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Roberto Santos
    ASL Info:    18/Male/India
    Elite Ratio:    2.96 - 118/159/75
    Words: 168
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 894
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 950



    Description:
       I wrote this as an attempt at a song. Not sure if I like this piece.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWe Could Live As Onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thereís so much that I
    Still need to say
    But I just canít seem to speak
    Thereís so much that I want to tell
    To try and get you to stay.

    Why has it come to this?
    Why do you have to run?
    Why do you have to leave me,
    When we could live as one?

    It wonít be long before I
    Will have to leave you
    I still want to stay here but
    Why donít you understand,
    I still love you?

    Why has it come to this?
    Why do you have to run?
    Why do you try to hurt me,
    When we could live as one?

    Thereís not much left for me to say
    I just canít understand why
    I donít feel like leaving you
    It pains me to depart
    Without you, I just canít get by.

    Why has it come to this?
    Why do you have to run?
    Why do you keep insisting,
    That we canít live as one?




    Submitted on 2006-03-21 04:49:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Why has it come to this?
    Why do you have to run?
    Why do you keep insisting,
    That we canít live as one?

    This was the best thing about the poem, to be honest the rest wasnt that good but that doesnt mean it isnt good
    | Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by Robert Neville | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like this! i like the ending! and this could be a song! there was a lot of power in the ending! ya theres not much to say i like it! good joB!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    9. How could it be improved?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    95763

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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