This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Trapped


Author: iluvpoetry_1
Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 806 /439 /119
Words: 99
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1373
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 590



Description:


just found some poems!! old ones from like da 6th grade dont relly like this one! but w/e!
~akaila~


Trapped




I’m trapped in this depressing life
It’s like all I want to do is keep
Rewinding time. Go back to when
I was younger and everyone paid attention
to me.

Sick of all the heartache I experience
Everyday. People think I’m so happy
But my life is really gray. No one knows
The pain that’s burning in my heart

I’m trapped in my own tears
And sorrow. Full of hurt and the wonder to know
Why.
Why I have this hurting feeling in my heart?

~akaila~




Submitted on 2006-03-21 08:04:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  I liked the poem very much, the expression seems perfectly depressed, with the reference to the colour grey.
I think this is a very good piece of work despite being old and i woul like to here more from you.
| Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by Mr R | [ Reply to This ]
  Just work on that line spacing trust me. If the line spacing is off for just a moment it will throw the whole poem off.
But I did like this poem. It is nicely written, I had to look for the rhythm thow. It caught my atention because I wrote a poem a long time ago with the same title. The funny thing is it sounded alot alike with the term of being trapped.
| Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]
  you've come a long way in your writing, this really shows that! humm... the site wants me to add more but I don't want to...
| Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
  I know what you mean, "however" I had a rough childhood! I wish I could rewind time just once. The day my life went downwards! Anyways I can totally relate to this poem so I know where you're coming from! Keep up the excellent work, one comment down ALOT more 2 go (lol)
| Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by Cordell | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



95769