in loves words -------------------------------------------
Two lovers eyes lock from across the room
Then their thoughts begin to zoom
Never before have I felt like this
I can't wait till we have our first kiss
Just to be with you and hold you tight
You were the one to restore the light
I'll always be there right when you need me
You're the only one with my heart and key
For you're the person I need the most
Just like sailors long for the coast
Happiness moves me when you're near
Only then do I have nothing to fear
The only thing I fear is losing you
But im pretty sure this you already knew
You're the reason I rise and shine each day
I only care about what you have to say
The smile on your face means I did something right
That's all I care about at the end of the night
I love you that's all I have to say
Because I cant explain how I feel each day
Only can it be shown when im with you
But that's nothing new
well innocence .... well everybody has happened this once in our lives .. the times when we do not know everything and that we sometimes are shy and stuff like this ,.... i think that this writing was an okay one ... with a rhyming a little force i recommend you not to force rhyming .. youd better use free verse .. and read some good writers take care and thanks for sharing and if you have time please take a look to my wriitng i would really appreciate it take care peace and love and have a nice day Victor
this did seem a bit forced rhymed but ppl tell me that with alot of my writes and when it comes down to it, rhyming is usually not the most important aspect of a write. this did seem rather innocent for a love write but that's what was so sweet about it, it showed that you're intentions are totally pure. (of course no one said a little less innocence would hurt anything) This was a great write, I hope (s)he liked it, I would love it if someone felt like this about me. anyway I look forward to reading more from you soon. peace and love. jess
One word, Innocence. This poem basically defines it! No matter what age you are you can achieve this sort of innocence. Love can make you feel and act that way and this poem perfectly describes what it's like to feel love from someone who has caught your attention. Very nice work!
I like the poem but it seems as though you have been trying too hard too make it rhyme. I think instead of a poem this could make very good lyrics for a song. It has that sort of innocence about it and mayvbe you should look to write a chorus and perhpas a second verse to it and submit it that way, just a thought.