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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Down the Blackholedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Cigarz
    ASL Info:    35/M/NH
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 258/183/50
    Words: 195
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 224
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1128



    Description:
       I was required to do a found poem this week, and I figured the form was to easy to get any 'learnin' out of, so... I 'wrote' it as a Villanelle.

    For those commenting, please please please take into consideration the unique forms being merged here. Of course some of the words could be better, and the rhymes tighter, but I could only use words found in the text.

    Cheers!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDown the Blackholedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Found Poem in Villanelle

    -Source: “Introductory Nuclear Physics,” David Halliday (1955)

    To Alice, they are not of interest here.
    Forgetting to decay in variations,
    Stuck in a loop for reasons to appear.

    Her life in space a current spinning clear,
    Changes viewed through crystal excitations.
    To Alice, they are not of interest here.

    And she can see transitions commandeer,
    Which have no current plot for dominations.
    Stuck in a loop for reasons to appear.

    Too often there are questions insincere,
    Raising notions of some expectations.
    To Alice, they are not of interest here.

    Her light velocity is always near,
    Scintillating liquid observations.
    Stuck in a loop for reasons to appear.

    She’ll circulate and liquidate, adhere
    Like lightning, quick to current undulations.
    To Alice they are not of interest here,
    Stuck in a loop for reasons to appear.

    WT Abernathy




    Submitted on 2006-03-21 14:23:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is one of the few villanelles I've ever read where the repetition wasn't too much to handle.

    I have no idea what you mean by "found poem," and that being said, I have a lot of difficulty understanding this piece. The physicist in me really likes some of the language you use, like Her light velocity is always near, and Forgetting to decay in variations, and the like, but.... the title completely surpasses me. And I feel like I should know who Alice is, but I'm missing something... perhaps it's that the phrase they are not of interest here doesn't really make sense to me. (I mean, my first guess was Alice in Wonderland, of course, but that just didn't really click that well with the rest of the poem....) Also, the third and fourth stanzas feel kind of empty to me... they're nice and all, but they just don't stand up to the other stanzas.... they feel like they're just filler.

    But, again, I just can't tell if it's my fault that I'm missing something or not.
    | Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by bitterlily | [ Reply to This ]
      Villanelle, such a hard mistress...so hard to keep the reader interested with the constant repetition of rhyme and line.

    Mate, I reckon you did a great job considering your other restrictions, the theme itself is excellent, using Alice juxtaposed with physics, and giving the whole thing humanity with the "stuck in the loop" feel that all get at times.

    My only crit is the typo on the last word...hahaha nearly!

    Great work, I hope they were impressed as I was.

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]



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