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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Cardinal Rulesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: drowning_queen
    Elite Ratio:    5.44 - 245/270/52
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 692
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1220



    Description:
       Made up of images based on the color red-- see if you can pick them out...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCardinal Rulesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Her hands are bound with twine,
    hips pressed into the redwood desk
    cleared of all papers and
    knick-knacks with hasty swipes
    of pomegranate stained fingers
    Her cheek is held tight against the
    grain of the tabletop,
    femme fatale lipstick smeared
    across one pale cheek
    Her ankles shake on
    4-inches of red patent leather

    A pause:
    there is hot breath in her ear--
    cherry tinged and gravel rough
    a hand slides up her thigh
    SMACK!
    blood blooms under her skin
    a controlled anger laces
    the measured strikes,
    each landing scant inches apart
    and when wax is dripped over
    the raised red welts
    she breaks and gasps
    arms shooting out and toppling a
    glass bottle of crimson nail polish
    staining the flutter of files

    Clean-up will come later;
    for now there is the harsh twist of
    knuckle-deep fingers, the
    uttered words of promises both
    meant and soon to be broken and
    the ever tenuous thread of
    finely spun desire, lust, and need
    bound to unravel with every loss of
    control




    Submitted on 2006-03-21 15:49:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Vare vare dramatic, something you'd see on nighttime television that married couples watch when the kids are in bed. Risque, but from what I can see from your other writing...no surprise there. Actually well-written; your imagery make it come alive. Ever considered writing a column for On Our Backs? Oh, and I loved the "femme fatale lipstick."

    ~Later Days~
    Mel
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by Melora | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I just, wow. is this a fantasy? I so clearly pictured this. Its much better than what we saw over new years. Anyway, i love your use of adjectives,
    "cleared of all papers and
    knick-knacks with hasty swipes
    of pomegranate stained fingers
    Her cheek is held tight against the
    grain of the tabletop,
    femme fatale lipstick smeared"

    And you included pomegranate. I just love it.

    By the way, I don't have internet access in my new house, so i have to go to school. Since its spring break, campus is supposedly closed. You know i wouldn't leave for no purpose, what type of husband do you take me as *throughs a hissy fit*

    Anyway, I love this piece. Your word choice is flawless. I see the woman on top of the desk, feeling the pain (b/c who doesn't love a little pain with their pleasure). The office is in disarray, but who cares when you being getting some action

    Peace,

    Minsu
    | Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by Lee Minsu | [ Reply to This ]
      Very clever Kristina... having a theme certainly spices up any poem I think... and you've perservered with this one to make it shine.

    One suggestion though... how about a title that indicates the usage of the different words for 'red'? Just a thought... then the description wouldn't be needed as much... the title would say it all, you know?

    Quite a risque piece I must say... which seems to be the style you're most comfortable with... I like unrestrained sexiness... it's appealingly direct lol.

    I can't really nitpick here... just a short comment to say that I liked what I read.... you nasty mofo lol.

    Jase
    | Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by alteredlife | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm. seems very dramatic, although it is a very different poem from all that i have read before. i like it. there's nothing wrong with it from my perspective. i love it. keep at it. peace.
    | Posted on 2006-03-21 00:00:00 | by Heat | [ Reply to This ]


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