Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Red Walldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 244
    Class/Type: Misc/Satire
    Total Views: 556
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1317



    Description:
       I'm depressing, sorry. I keep on having grade school memories as nightmares


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRed Walldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Alone fat girl walked, down the halls of her prison, her school. The walls were grey, dulling every mind of the children. Alone with her book, how she wanted it to be. No beautiful people were insight, no one to make her fall down. She walked passed the washroom, a meeting place the beautiful girls gather to. She hesitated before she went inside.

    She entered, they stared. They were all there. They closed the door, trapped her in, animal to its cage. They pushed her against the grey wall, they took her book, her friend. The used her only friend to smack her. Violently with each blow, Blood painted the wall red. They kicked her, the punched, they cut fat girl with their nails and the they left her there.

    Fat girl laid there, unable to move from the pain, until someone came in. They screamed in horror, fat girl heard the scream before. She focused on the screams which were coming from her little sister. Fat girl cried more then she did with each blow, she knew he sister saw her as the pathetic person she was.

    Fat girl just wanted to go home, she wanted to leave this school. Her sister got help and the teacher drove her home, fat girl didnít even bother to tell the names. She wanted to be safe, she was so scared, she wanted to die right then and there.




    Submitted on 2006-03-21 21:08:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Did you have a nightmarish child hood or what... [censored] your grade school was rouph. This was a nice write. I hate looking for the lines within the paragraphs... but I do it anyways grrr,lol. Well nicely done, sucky childhood memorys.
    | Posted on 2006-03-23 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    95862

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry