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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Winds of firedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: keestu
    ASL Info:    32/male/Sydney
    Elite Ratio:    5.61 - 153/95/116
    Words: 103
    Class/Type: Poetry/Legend
    Total Views: 1085
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 604



    Description:
       Dedicated to all the soldiers of the world who fought and died for their nation.
    (One of my oldies)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWinds of firedots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the river of blood was a battle to be fought,
    The spring of hate, the falls in vain.
    War that came as swift as the wind,
    Was the hunter hunted or as such be in pain?

    Soar across the land did armies with fear,
    Live their life for others for themselves.
    Made par the limits was nature itself,
    Survival of the fittest the rule that kills.

    Winds of fire shall run through the land,
    Limit as nothing to be crossed by warriors.
    Their steps to be heard after ages to pass,
    Sacrifice for a cause a curse of the sand.




    Submitted on 2006-03-22 03:05:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like this powm to, just the second line was a little iffy for me, but all and all a good poem. I think you just need to change one of the words in the second line to put an even flow throughout the whole poem.

    The rest of the poem was awsome, nice rhythmic flow, almost a lyrical quality.

    meow
    oink
    moo
    baa
    cluck
    quak
    woof
    grr
    prr
    | Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]
      You've came a long ways, I can tell. Keep writing and you will continue to grow and change your style.

    ignore this... it wont let me post:
    meow
    oink
    moo
    baa
    cluck
    quack
    | Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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