[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Shopping For Springdots

    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 158
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 574
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 981

       Just wanted to write something...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShopping For Springdots

    Scantily clad in her garment of hope,
    She tries to cast off a cloak of shame.
    It is far too warm to go on wearing these things,
    And they always look the same.
    She needs a new style for the days to come
    Something a little more modern than that awful cloak.
    Perhaps a nice sheath of purity,
    Or a tasteful cloud of smoke.
    She's tired of viewing the world through her rose colored glasses,
    Besides, they've become so dark they hide her eyes...
    And there's no way to make these glass slippers fit,
    It doesn't matter how hard she tries.
    She needs a new way to style her hair,
    Something that's yet to be seen,
    And maybe some colored contacts for her eyes
    To cover up the green
    She patiently waits for the mail to come
    Wondering what the postman will bring
    She needs the funds to buy her happiness
    And a new wardrobe for spring...

    Submitted on 2006-03-22 07:55:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is pretty, and uncomplicated in the emotion department
    i like the way this feels, girly and light, and just alive, shallow sort of, but not in a bad way
    in a sweetly innocent and freeing way

    lovely little piece you have here
    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      Don't know about this. *raises eyebrows to show confusion* What exactly were you trying to say? I think i like the idea, I mean to me it sounds like this girl is trying to become reborn, and she has chosen a wonderful time to do it, in the spring when reproduction is mother natures largest concern. This poem doesn't sound 'you' and maybe that is why I was originally confused. But when thought is applied I think it turns out to be a rather nice poem.
    | Posted on 2006-03-22 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Giving written by jjd
    Push written by JanePlane
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Bond written by saartha
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    This written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Incubus written by monad
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    To written by SavedDragon
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Linger written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]