Description: I want to know how you felt while reading part 1. I wrote this in grade 11 during history. Its about politics and religion. The world looked so bleek at the time. I was very sad & mad.
Phoenix part 1 -------------------------------------------
In the end there can only be a beginning, a second chance to start anew. Reborn once more as fire from the ashes of our crumbling society. Shinning bright the delusional nothingness that has surronded society is cast off. Leaving nothing except the truth that exposes the reality of life to all, thus undressing sheep dressed as Shepards. Who try desperatly to deceive their flocks into believing that there is salvation in the end if they just follow with their eyes closed, mouths shut, & ears pluged. They are then lead around like dogs on show for their master. Living life blissfully ignorant of their own disobedience as they blantantly ignore their own desires. Seeking to be free from restraints yet they chain themselves together willingly as a means of prevention. What from? Their own needs, wishes, & wants...desires are what they hold themselves back from.
Very nice, the imagery is wonderful, how you weave the words together to depict the truth. I saw only one real mistake in this, and that was 'pluged' which should be plugged.
"thus undressing sheep dressed as Shepards"
This was my favorite line. It's so very true. In reading this piece I felt very... betrayed I think. Like I had been lured into a sense of security, and believed in something, trusting in something, and then I was completely let down in the end. Like all my trust was misplaced, therefore all my beliefs were shattered. Which, I must say, is exactly my feelings toward politics. I think you captured your own emotions well, and I enjoyed this piece very much. Excellent work :)