Description: one of those two second poems. its horrid but thank god i got over this feeling.
i have about five others to post but i haven't gotten to it until now. give me some time. (ok MmR? lol.)
the last two that i have posted are not too new. i have more recent ones.
The Call -------------------------------------------
pick up the phone
watch the future pass
as her name is flashing
you flinch at the glance.
a momment away from confronting
the one who's heart broke yours
but you cannot help but wonder
why in your face, she closed those doors.
I definately agree with bloody_carebear. I want more! This was a great poem and it all came together very nicely. Rather short, but that is ok if you can get your point across
It was shorter than most of your others, but that honestly gave this poem a little something extra. I think I understand what you're getting at here...
I love this. I love it when you write short, two or three stanza poems. They pull the reader in, wanting more. You have the opportunity to play it like a piano... Soft and slow but quickly ascending into the quiet boom of an unheard drum.
whos' to say this isn't horrid? you're writing about true emotion, and it's not fair for anyone to tell you that you're pain wasn't all that painful. Descriptions may be vague, the length may be short, but you can never measure pain.
i like how you've said in there that another heart is what broke yours...it's a nice change from the usual You He We I breaking someones heart.
I thought it was a good poem but with the description I thought there was going to be more... I wouldn't really call this feeling horrid. The feeling you get when an ex calls that your still hurting for is bad but their are more hopeless feeling to say horrid... And I don't mean to stick on that I just had higher expectations but I do like poetry that is simple and short I just think this one could have pulled the reader in more with just a few lines... Still thanks for the read... Anthony
Submission Name: The Call
