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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Visions of the Real Worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vitoko
    ASL Info:    24/M
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 690/442/104
    Words: 77
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1120
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 442



    Description:
       well yesterday this thought came to my mind


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsVisions of the Real Worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Have you seen the clouds laughing?
    Have you felt how the breeze kiss your soul?
    Have you heard of the rose which fell in love with a spring?
    Close your eyes and you will get it.

    Dream as you were a kid who joined the light to night.
    What are you seeing?
    That little bird dancing with the rainbow?
    Look at your hands which became wings.
    Do not wake up and stay in the real world.




    Submitted on 2006-03-23 11:28:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      WOW....im speechless....i LOVE it im so glad u recommended i read this one first...i was taken in awe from the very beginning ...personally i like short poems...i think u are more skillful if u can pack a lot of emotion in so little words...i can wait to read more
    Very good job and keep writing
    ~Caotic
    | Posted on 2006-09-28 00:00:00 | by Caotic_Disaster | [ Reply to This ]
      short sweet to the point direct i like it
    i can just see this in my head u have real talent keep up the good writing
    | Posted on 2006-06-03 00:00:00 | by $tefano | [ Reply to This ]
      I am in amazement! This was such a beautiful write. I can place myself in a this "reality" and forget about all that surrounds me at this moment. The style that you chose to write here has me left standing with a smile on my face!

    You really put heart into this one. And when I say that....I mean that you really put pure emotion and poetic appeal. You combined the best of both worlds and gave it such a remarkable feeling.

    I will continue to read more of your work. This one was simply wonderful!

    Much love,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      what a lovely thought. it reminds me of a quote i've heard, unfortunately i can't remember who said it though. "I love sleeping and dreaming... life has a terrible way of falling apart while i'm awake."
    this is a nice write... it invokes warm fuzzies.... that is until i start thinking deeper about how life would really be if i did live in my own dream world.... i'd have my dreams but would never act upon actually getting them done. i'd just sit there for my whole life, doing nothing. ...... if that made any sense at all

    -jess
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this piece. I think what hit me is the last line..." Do not wake up and stay in the real world." Thank-you for commenting mine as well.
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by one_taken | [ Reply to This ]
      wow...The imagery is nothing less than perfect..damn, your great!..

    "Have you felt how the breeze kiss your soul?
    Have you heard of the rose which fell in love with a spring?"

    I thought these were the best lines of all..the picture in my head is just perfect..the flow of this poem is great...and i think Dreaming isn't so bad, the real world kinda sucks at times..but some people make it worth living...keep up the grea work!

    -Lucy-
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      It's really good. It seems so gentle and sincere under it all. It's good that deep subject that everyone contemplates at least once in their life. And the imagery was pretty awesome. I really loved it!
    Cheers,
    ~Persephone~
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by Persephone | [ Reply to This ]
      this was some awesome imagry....i loved the really calm, gentle undertone....have you ever meditated? I get this sort of feeling right before I finish the transition between breathing and transforming meditation and the few times that I actually have achieved the lamrim for that emotion. great write.
    peace
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked your imagery, they were like abstract, really made it feel like it was a dream, or i was in a trance or something. I liked it. There are some grammar errors, but they dont take away much from the whole poem. I really realle liked this line here

    "Have you felt how the breeze kiss your soul"

    While reading this, i could almost feel the breeze beating against my back, your descriptions felt so real and vivid, and the way you used the descriptions like the breeze kissing your soul or the clouds laughing is really cool, that's what really makes this a good poem, Hell of a nice job.
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Faith_Disease | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This is really pretty, your imagery is really great. I don't know exactly what it is about this poem but it made me feel very nostalgic. Your vision of the real world is a lot prettier than my vision of it. Definitely a favorite. ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~Tayla~
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an asomely inspiring write mann
    i like this part

    "Look at your hands which became wings.
    Do not wake up and stay in the real world"


    Rip & Rot
    Queen Darknesss of the Grim Draco



    | Posted on 2006-03-26 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      Great job! Nice imagery. It reminded me of a very happy dream, when nothing can go wrong. Then you wake up and try to get back to sleep. Aren't dreams better than reality? I love how you worded this.
    inkpen
    | Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by inkpen | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent stuff mate!

    it's lacking in grammar a bit, but I get what you're saying...very inspirational, and bloody well done!

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was so refreshing Victor. It had a inspirirng feel to this. I liked your imagery as well. I think this flowed well also. I am glad to see you writing happier poems. This was very good. It made me want to start day dreaming again.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Vic
    This write I like
    I like how you are showing others that all they have to do is open there mind to create a beautiful vision that will carry them thru the negativity of Life
    This is so true
    This is exactly part of the reason I am so positive
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-23 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this fluffy piece of your seems to optimistic and light hearted. But thats how most dream are (for me at least) I like that you shared this one with me. Just short and to the point, those are probably my favorite. Well im sure i will see more work from you soon. Talk to you soon love. Have a wonderful day or at least try to! Sincerely amber
    | Posted on 2006-03-23 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked the simple instruction and agree with your childlike view - too many people stop dreaming and imagining and I don't believe that's good.
    I keep my child-like visions and view of life & I'm younger for "IT"!
    great!
    love,peace,joy&smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-03-23 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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