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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Good-Byedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Linkins_knot
    ASL Info:    14/Male/Behind a Computer
    Elite Ratio:    2.12 - 20/46/19
    Words: 197
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 144
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1182



    Description:
       I had a project in my computer class to make a video so me and my partner chose suicides, so i made this poem for it...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsGood-Byedots
    -------------------------------------------


    The world is hard today
    The more pain
    My body begins to sway
    I gain most of this pain
    It all comes to me like rain

    Everybody laughs at me
    Killing
    The laughter is needles to my heart
    I cannot take it
    I begin to start screaming

    I decided to cut myself to see how much it bleeds
    I think its some sort of ventilation from my heart
    All the pain… Just starts to depart

    Along this pathway I had taken
    It didn’t help
    It just left me scratches and scars
    I continue to do this even though I yelp

    All of my friends have abandoned me
    I tried to be there friend again
    But they all don’t care anymore
    All these pains are turning into sores

    Many more that’s start to begin
    I’m starting to agree my life should become an end
    It should seize

    No one would care if I died
    They will say they did
    But it would all be a lie…

    Out of my life I some how survived
    I’m somehow lucky to be alive..
    Now I just have to say to the world…
    Goodbye.




    Submitted on 2006-03-23 15:49:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I hope your project went well or is going well.
    The last line of the second stanza needs a bit of revision. You either start screaming or begin to scream, but don't use two words with the same meaning in the same line.

    This is a great effort and I'm sure it added to your project.
    jan
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      hey u!!! how ya doin! hey ill be ur friend! im everyones friend im that nice! ok sometimes on a good day! anyway! this is good!! its sound like a poem i wrote called "Final Goodbye" where all u want 2 do is just leave this world and the pain and the pppl that caused it! good job! its a fav!!
    ~akaila~
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by iluvpoetry_1 | [ Reply to This ]
      hey, i like this poem very much, one of the best i have read in this genre! espically the last stanza

    PEACE
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by Robert Neville | [ Reply to This ]
      ohh thats cute i really liked it i understand the feeling behind it and i guess more it reminds of someone that i have been and will continue to be...great write -jess-
    | Posted on 2006-05-08 00:00:00 | by gothicgirl | [ Reply to This ]



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