Flora by clovernfoxglove

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Submission Name: Flora dots

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Author:	clovernfoxglove
Elite Ratio:	5.16 - 76/83/33
Words:	85

Class/Type:	Poetry/Nature
Total Views:	175
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	634

Description:
Just another nature poem!

Flora

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Flora
presenter of
wisdom
beauty
and grace.
Giver
of life
and love
time
and space.
I lift my hand
to the golden light
of ages past.
I hold a key
that opens hearts
minds and souls
at last.
Judge me openly
giver of all
for I am but a speck
in cosmic dusts.
Forgive my harsh
words
actions
and let love pervade
your touch.
The fragrance of Flora
clinging to my breast,
I will climb every mountain
and I will find
eternal rest.

Submitted on 2006-03-23 16:14:23 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
i like the way you've set up the structure of the poem. i'm not so sure if stanzas would work right for this piece so i think its great just how it is.

and i also like the subtle rhymes you've thrown in there. a lot of times people try to over do it with the rhyming and they lose the meaning, flow and context of the poem. i think with just the little amount of rhyming you've thrown in there is just perfect. there's not too much.

this seems to me to have somewhat of a religious feel to it also. ...not just nature. like when you say "judge me openly, giver of all" and "forgive my harsh words, actions, let love prevade"

it seems like you are talking to God, or whatever higher power or being you believe in. asking for forgiveness.

i think one thing you could add to make this a little better is more puntuation. granted you do have the periods in there but i think you should put commas wherever they are necessary. but thats my opinion.

and i also think if you wanted to try something fun with this you could try arranging the lines into a triangular shape or a diamond...give it some kind of shape of some sort. ...it might be tricky. but if you worked at it i think it would make this a really fun poem, visually and content-wise.

great write...i enjoyed it.
thanks for sharin
| Posted on 2006-03-23 00:00:00 | by vintagepepper | [ Reply to This ]

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