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    dots Submission Name: Recalldots

    Author: Abort_Chaotic
    ASL Info:    19 almost 20
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 201/172/50
    Words: 250
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 717
    Average Vote:    3.0000
    Bytes: 1680


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    What it takes to conspire a breath,
    is a fervent cavity of lifeless portrayal.
    Let lose our blades of emotion,
    I know it's wrong but I'll keep the secret a surreptitious betrayal.

    So it starts.
    Taking it out in a duel of unbalanced mortals.
    Part with the guns, we'll employ our knives.
    The gray concrete to the skies limitless shine in black,
    For all the blood and all the deciets, now with a knife in my back.
    I will be the one who fails.

    Under the luminescense of the street,
    with uncanty fire burning in this new orifice,
    where my heart would dwell.
    Dialated and delayed reactions to the slip of feet.

    "Why do you stand obstructed,
    what's with the awry face.
    I could have swore you wanted me gone."

    The insistint click of an empty chamber,
    then security of taking the hammer back.
    Twitch off trigger and let the bullet fly through the skull,
    pieces of memories and eyes to convusling blood.
    Making yourself gone.. once and for all.

    All alone 365 days after you left.
    Taking this one bullet and whiping away tears of remembrence.
    Here's what will happen.
    I'll Recall every detail to the last thrust,
    Easy, there was never any trust.
    So easy,to depict a picture intracate in it's flawless design.
    When Divine perfection creates a lie in departing beauties,
    As souls;
    we take the same way,
    down the same sidewalk,
    and the same heart-aches never decline.

    Submitted on 2006-03-24 00:23:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Honestly, when you wrote this, were you thinking "I have a message" or, "They'll be so impressed by my wordiness."

    Really, this comes across as overwritten and trying way too hard. It stirs no emotion at all.
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by Pax Parvani | [ Reply to This ]

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