The Poet by HansRik

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Submission Name: The Poet dots

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Author:	HansRik
ASL Info:	19/male/United Kingdom
Elite Ratio:	5.93 - 78/55/9
Words:	81

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	229
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	646

Description:

The Poet dots

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The poet's heart, by loneliness consumed,
Does long to write the pains, forlorn,
Lest th'soul be glaringly entombed-
Ruined, phantoms, so utterly torn.

The poet's soul, by nature's joys absorbed,
Has sought t'immortalise those miracles
In fragile words and sensuous lives-
Lest memories forgotten be.

But hark! By love and fantasies destroyed,
The poet's heart has no remedy:
Instead remains an empty void,
Entrenched so solidly by a malady.

Then, the Glory's soon concealed by Time's coarse sands.

Submitted on 2006-03-24 05:07:19 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I like your ideas behind the malady of poets. It's very nice to see someone lay out why poets write the way they do.

The poet's heart, by loneliness consumed,
Does long to write the pains, forlorn,
Lest th'soul be glaringly entombed-
Ruined, phantoms, so utterly torn.

This is my favorite passage because poets don't write because they want to, they write because they must.

Amour pour toujours les mots de l'âme.

| Posted on 2007-03-22 00:00:00 | by BrokenAngel | [ Reply to This ]
  It certainly is a poetic view of poets, well to a certain degree. In parts I did see me in others I have to disagree for the most part I have to say I liked it. The ending I just don't relate. I do not become empty void after turning to display. The ending potrays poets as weak like a castle in the sand just to be blown away by drifting winds of decay. Nope just cannot relate. On the contray I say the restless mind of a poet always has soemthing to say. Thinks of things different as you yourself has displayed. Not for the weaker part of lifes jolts, but to help others with ones own discovers. None the less you succesfully got me to type more then I had intended to so gratzz for that and ok an ok kinda good view )

Sincerly Gannondalf aka Big Bear
| Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Gannondalf | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a well written poem. It expresses the inner thoughts and motivations of a poet. I am not sure I agree with all of it, but nonetheless this is still very well written and expressed. Poets are unique to themselves, finding words to express their inner most thoughts and feelings, and tend to see things differently than most people. I would say more observant with most things too. This is a thought provoking write and interesting to read your views. Good stuff. Take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2006-05-13 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  So the boy thinks he’s a poet huh?
Big car, caviar
think I’ll buy me a football star.
-- Pink Floyd, The Wall (movie, the last two lines are also from 'Money' on Dark side of the moon)

As to the comments that poets are more feeling then other, or more messed up: I think that’s just stupid to say, and a way to try to uplift and show people how great a person one is. But all that is beside the point. Back to the poem.

The structure here is really good, only minor errors (maybe).

“The poet's heart has no remedy:” This line somehow seems off, I would work a little on this passage, also as it leades to a ‘:’

“Then, the Glory's soon concealed by Time's coarse sands.” I can see that the structural break is intentional, but it does seem a little punch-line‘ish. I cannot see that a structural change is in order at all here – at least ot when it is handled as it is.

Well overall I like the poem, though I do disagree a bit on the content, but nevertheless it is clear, and very well executed.

Best,
-tZar
| Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by tZar | [ Reply to This ]
  So the boy thinks he’s a poet huh?
Big car, caviar
think I’ll buy me a football star.
-- Pink Floyd, The Wall (the movie).

As to the comments that poets are more feeling then other, or more messed up: I think that’s just stupid to say, and a way to try to uplift and show people how great a person one is. But all that is beside the point. Back to the poem.

The structure here is really good, only minor errors (maybe).

“The poet's heart has no remedy:” This line somehow seems off, I would work a little on this passage, also as it leades to a ‘:’

“Then, the Glory's soon concealed by Time's coarse sands.” I can see that the structural break is intentional, but it does seem a little punch-line‘ish. I cannot see that a structural change is in order at all here – at least ot when it is handled as it is.

Well overall I like the poem, though I do disagree a bit on the content, but nevertheless it is clear, and very well executed.

Best,
-tZar
| Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by tZar | [ Reply to This ]
  Good progression there -

a poet's raison d'etre:

"The poet's heart, by loneliness consumed,
Does long to write the pains, forlorn,
Lest th'soul be glaringly entombed-
Ruined, phantoms, so utterly torn."

The poet's modus operandum:

"The poet's soul, by nature's joys absorbed,
Has sought t'immortalise those miracles
In fragile words and sensuous lives-
Lest memories forgotten be."

The poet's dilemma of existence:

"But hark! By love and fantasies destroyed,
The poet's heart has no remedy:
Instead remains an empty void,
Entrenched so solidly by a malady."

And, the poet's prospects of posterity?:

"Then, the Glory's soon concealed by Time's coarse sands."

| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by CrypticBard | [ Reply to This ]
  Very cool. It's dificult to add a comment because what Poetic already said - everything has already been said. I wonder. would you rather not be a poet if that would mean life s*cked less?
I was about the say I liked the first stanza best, but when I look at the poem, I like all of them. The use of language fits here just perfectly and I really like the poem. * add to Favs*
Hope i can talk to you some time soon ;)

Janneke (remember the pronunciation? :') )
| Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
  well, i feel that all i have to say has already been said by grey_girland Speacenik... so i wont bother going into all this long and drawn out stuff... just so you can read it all over again... i'll just say that i really like this piece, it has a very nice flow to it, and can be related to by all poets. i too believe we do take in the world completely different that your "average joe" our emotions to certian things tend to run wild, thus giving us our poetry.

again, very nice write, and i hope to be seeing more from you in the future, i'll keep a look out for your name

-Poetic
| Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by Poetic | [ Reply to This ]
  All of this is very apt, the idea of a poet experiencing both the best and worst of human extremities ‘Ruined, phantoms, so utterly torn.’ Torn, simply because they are the ones who feel the world most intensely, who perceive nature’s beauty but live with chasms for hearts, At times the poetic mentality becomes as you so eloquently say, a ‘malady’, some negative compulsion. I also think that for the most part this poem is exquisitely depicted, stunningly unique yet classical, with sensational sonics. Structurally, it also reads well with regular, self-contained stanzas, until the last line breaks with what’s gone before, shocking the reader into a realisation of life’s transience.

A very well-written and deeply emotive piece, thank you for sharing,
Speacenik.
| Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by Speacenik | [ Reply to This ]
  You know, I think it is true that poets are some of the most [censored]ed up people... they feel too much, maybe, I don't know.

But hark! By love and fantasies destroyed,
The poet's heart has no remedy:
Instead remains an empty void,
Entrenched so solidly by a malady.

So, why then is it so great to be a "poet"? Why bother writing, why not just live or sleep or just swim through it all without using words to describe it? And that, I guess, is why it's different for poets than other people. Words become necessity, the only anchor left sometimes to hold you here... Use them or lose your mind. And yeah, maybe someone will connect to them, but is that the only importance?

You brought up a lot of thoughts for me with this piece. I cringe at the term "poet" because it seems pretentious and frivilous sometimes, but it doesn't stop the pen. I liked this very much. Thank you for sharing your insights.
| Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
  this is what i feel like every time i am on my own witch is when i wright my poems. you realy know how to make poeple involed
| Posted on 2006-05-17 00:00:00 | by draconus | [ Reply to This ]

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