[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Amdots

    Author: manderz_1207
    ASL Info:    15/f/mi
    Elite Ratio:    5.45 - 95/109/38
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Me
    Total Views: 788
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 632

       Background behind this piece- It was actually an assignment for school, except I was suppose to do it on Vincent Van Gogh, which I did but I ended up making one about myself. Its sort of different in style but its very descriptive of who I am. I am looking for any kind of feedback, anything to improve it or anything thats bad. Let me know. Thanks!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Amdots

    I am a poet and a singer
    I wonder how I'll die
    I hear the rain drops on the ground
    I see the angels in the sky
    I want to be loved
    I am a poet and a singer

    I pretend to be happy
    I feel the pain of life
    I touch his heart in many ways
    I worry I won't find love
    I cry over everything
    I am a poet and a singer

    I understand life is not fair
    i say god has a plan for everyone
    I dream of being successful
    I try to be a good person
    i hope I am forgive for my sins
    I am a poet and a singer

    Submitted on 2006-03-24 08:06:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      It was a good poem but there was no flow. My history teacher assigned us a similar poem, her assignment was to write about who we were. You captured your essence in your poem, and in many ways I found myself in your words. My favorite stanza is:

    I pretend to be happy
    I feel the pain of life
    I touch his heart in many ways
    I worry I won't find love
    I cry over everything
    I am a poet and a singer

    I think that this stanza truly lets us know your soul. In the other stanzas you are trying to assure the reader of something that you are not quite sure of, or so I believe but here you let the reader know how you feel and what you are. There have been many times in my life where I have pretended to be happy. There are times when I smile and it seems that it is something that I must do. If I don't smile then people around you start to worry and they ask questions. I don't like when they ask questions because I can find no answer, maybe because I am trying to satisfy their inquiries instead of being honest but there are just times when its hard to be honest and to prevent trouble it is better to pretend. I think that you will find love. It has to be out there. It must be, I myself am searching for it. It was a good poem and from it I could tell that you are a great person.
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by Katrinagolden | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]