Tearing through my soul,
by unperforated lines
my aspiration for vegeance ignited.
is blistering, smoldering brilliantly
within the pitch of my subsistence.
The inquiry darting through my mentality;
the fidelity, my fidelity falters over ambiguity.
See, that's a very poetic line. The soul is being torn in the places that hurt the worst, not the easily torn apart "perforated" places.
The rest of it is a bit like thoughts that were put together with synonyms, instead of poetic gestures.
I think you are on to a great start here, but, and i mean no offense pepa, but this one needs some work. The whole thing is a bit "ambiguous." Is the question in your mind that you doubt your fidelity? At least in the parameters of other people? I'm a little lost, sorry for that! Later, Toby