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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Battle of the Minddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kersofmia
    ASL Info:    19/m/Mia
    Elite Ratio:    5.51 - 111/84/44
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 265
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 696



    Description:
       Crazy to even figure out what turns my life keeps taking... Read the whole thing before you make judgement...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Battle of the Minddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Whirlwinds of revelations,
    Blind my irregular thoughts,
    While my trembling essence,
    Quivers just trying to think,

    Everyday marking the first,
    The first of a new creation,
    But falters with the smallest oppression,
    And I stumble back to where I started,

    I battle well trained soldiers,
    With the colors of the subconscious,
    But it seems a transparent battlefield,
    Where my forces are at their mercy,

    And I lay bloody on the ground,
    Depleting what strength remains to stand,
    Staring at the wake of what seems a storm,
    Bearing no recollection of all I have done...




    Submitted on 2006-03-24 16:26:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Very deep!
    I really liked this. Like you said, I had to read the entire thing before I could pass judgement.

    You have a very unique way of writing, I like that!

    Keep up the good work...really!
    | Posted on 2006-12-27 00:00:00 | by mysterious one | [ Reply to This ]
      i love the whole thought of battling with the colors of subconscious...i'm kinda surprised you've only got one feedback on this.

    kinda reminds me of one of my own writes... in it it say's i've become a prisoner of a war between a mind that will never let me forget, and a heart that doesn't want to move on...

    inner battles never end well....every inner personality becomes a casualty
    | Posted on 2006-03-26 00:00:00 | by MmR | [ Reply to This ]
      At firsrt I was a bit turned off to this poem by the use of two metaphors... the storm and the battlefield. However, once I saw the bookending technique I was better with it. Nice job there.
    The battle of the mind is well trod territory and it works here once again as a theme. Trope has power, though, or it wouldn't be trope and so firmly embedded in our consciousness.
    | Posted on 2006-03-24 00:00:00 | by DavidHirt | [ Reply to This ]



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