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satisfied


Author: sickly
Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 545 /537 /203
Words: 93
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1148
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 634



Description:


this is a recent piece that i had to change a bit before i posted it.i think that as feedback, i just want the readers to give it a chance and say what they think or feel is appropriate.


satisfied



just a fallen star
and you can't help it
you've fallen in love
it was now or never

listen to the thunder
look at all the lightning
you're scared i know
here i go again

crystal as a vision
that is what it takes
the loneliness just drags you back
sharing in the rain

stealing it all away
holding the cards close
it has to be a change of everything
i'll show you that it's right

again and again
alive and feeling it
dead expressions
made up in war




Submitted on 2006-03-24 16:44:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments



Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



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