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    dots Submission Name: satisfieddots

    Author: sickly
    Elite Ratio:    3.56 - 545/537/203
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1040
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 634

       this is a recent piece that i had to change a bit before i posted it.i think that as feedback, i just want the readers to give it a chance and say what they think or feel is appropriate.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    just a fallen star
    and you can't help it
    you've fallen in love
    it was now or never

    listen to the thunder
    look at all the lightning
    you're scared i know
    here i go again

    crystal as a vision
    that is what it takes
    the loneliness just drags you back
    sharing in the rain

    stealing it all away
    holding the cards close
    it has to be a change of everything
    i'll show you that it's right

    again and again
    alive and feeling it
    dead expressions
    made up in war

    Submitted on 2006-03-24 16:44:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




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    January 10 07
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