Epiphany Part II: by mywordscutmetoo

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Submission Name: Epiphany Part II: dots

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Author:	mywordscutmetoo
ASL Info:	20/f/ND
Elite Ratio:	4.67 - 29/41/18
Words:	164

Class/Type:	Poetry/Serious
Total Views:	123
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	963

Description:
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Epiphany Part II: dots

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This is a poem for the ones I love ~

I may never be able to tell you how
I really feel. For once this writer is out –
Out of touch; out of words…

This is a scary conclusion.
I felt demonic for a time.
Then I tried to grow angel wings.
But they could not save me,
They turned to black.
I burnt my only savior.
In truth, I can no longer save myself.
The only reason I am here
Is to love, care for, and cherish
The ones I love…

My father died.
My mother beat me.
You are all my family.
With out all of you I would not be here.
I tried to survive alone,
With stained, burnt wings.
My friends are my family –
You are the wings;
Gold and glorious,
That fly me away from the black.
The hands, the hugs, the love.
I am here for you always.

<3 I love you.

Submitted on 2006-03-24 18:46:31 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
I enjoyed the full impact of what you were filling - your soul very much on paper.

I think you should give this to those who have touched you in this way. Though it can be kind of an awkward situation, it is worth it in the end. You let them know how much they mean to you and they know how much you really appriciate them and how much you care.

I really like how this seemed to be a light in the darkness, it was happier. You see the things that surround you - that make it okay.
That make each day worth living. When those things are stripped away, that is a truly terrible time.
I really like how you faced the past and just moved on, that is so hard to do. So hard.

I think that you do have angel wings, hopefully you will be able to see them soon
take care
~jennifer
| Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
I have to admit that the flow needs work but the words that you used captured your meaning. I have felt this way many times but I have never had the experiences that you have gone through. Though others may look at your life and feel pity (because of your father's death and your mother's attitude towards you) you however show that you have no need for pity. All you need is love and caring, those feelings are enough to sustain you and to give you life.

I may never be able to tell you how
I really feel. For once this writer is out –
Out of touch; out of words…

This stanza was a bit confusing but in the end I felt that the vagueness of the poem was only due to the fact that I don't know your life. It is never too late to say I love you and in fact it is something that we should say everyday.

This is a scary conclusion.
I felt demonic for a time.
Then I tried to grow angel wings.
But they could not save me,
They turned to black.

Again not the greatest flow but I liked the idea. I wrote a poem called "the devil in disguise". It explains the same thoughs. Many times I try to be good but there are times when I just feel that being good takes too much time. It doesn't mean that I am evil it just means that I am human and can never be good. The wings that I try to grow however are for freedom and limiltess sky.

I burnt my only savior.
In truth, I can no longer save myself.
The only reason I am here
Is to love, care for, and cherish
The ones I love…

What suffering? I think this is the best stanza. Are you depressed? This stanza certainly exudes those feelings. Though I don't know who your savior is let me tell you that if they are your savior then you can never destroy them because they will always be there to help you.

My father died.
My mother beat me.
You are all my family.
With out all of you I would not be here.
I tried to survive alone,
With stained, burnt wings.
My friends are my family –
You are the wings;
Gold and glorious,
That fly me away from the black.
The hands, the hugs, the love.
I am here for you always.

I think this is a good poem for those that love and surround you.
| Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by Katrinagolden | [ Reply to This ]

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