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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Whisper, a Word or Shoutdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Leila
    ASL Info:    19/female/South Africa
    Elite Ratio:    4.23 - 98/85/18
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 197
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1029



    Description:
       Those have the most horrid things to say out loud, fear hearing the dreadful truth about themselves. Sometimes, you tell them anyway ...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Whisper, a Word or Shoutdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Your whisper trips me with ease
    Bang! I fall with my wretched weak knees
    Yet, my shame remains silent
    Through that verbal attack so violent

    Your words trample on the floor
    Trample on me till I am no more
    Stamp, stamp my soul to the ground
    Trample my limbs, so sound you pound

    Your shout knocks mountains over
    It is like a hurrican made her
    To blow me, tumbling about
    Oh Lord, that is the might of your shout

    But stop! Wait! Just hold on you!
    Miss Whisper-a-word-and-shout-it-too
    Miss Way-too-loud-so-profane
    Miss Stamping-and-trampling-hurricane

    You’re Miss Oh-so-still for now
    That I’ve verbally pound you around
    Please don’t look so demoralised
    So emotional and traumatised

    I think this once I will say
    That I’ve had enough of you today
    Not a sound I’ll hear come out
    No, not a whisper, a word or shout






    Submitted on 2006-03-25 15:42:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Seemed like just desert to humble pie. I must say a beautiful presentation. Everything you mentioned flowed purposfully of you intention. When we have had our full sometimes it is time to dish out what's been served to us. Basically comes down to you can dish it out but you can't take it lol. Not in this case,(now that I have verbally pound you around. Please don't look so demoralized. So emotional so traumatized) wow nice lines in that. Very good work I rate this one a 5, gj once again


    Sincerly Gannondalf /friend aka Big Bear
    | Posted on 2006-05-03 00:00:00 | by Gannondalf | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this....it is a very true write...words do hurt especially when they are spoken or shouted by one you love..my only suggestion would be punctuation...but i didnt have any probs reading it without...im adding it to my favs :)
    | Posted on 2006-03-26 00:00:00 | by stormyskies | [ Reply to This ]
      It is funny I would come across this poem tonight, for my bf is guilty of this and is doing it right now. Words are so painful if you mean for them to hurt. I felt like you were telling my story with this, and it was bittersweet. This was beautiful because it spoke volumes of truth and sad, for is not a happy way to live. This is a fav for me.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem. It was not forced which is uncommon now with rhymers, also, its brutally honest and the point in your description was clear throughout the entire poem. I loved the fluidity of it, rolls well. Great job.
    | Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by impassive sky | [ Reply to This ]
      I LOVE THIS
    The style you wrote this in is new and fresh to me and this really comes together perfectly
    There is emotion screaming all throughout this write
    I loved it
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-25 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]



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