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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Day 4 - Burningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: siroez
    ASL Info:    22/Male/WV
    Elite Ratio:    4.44 - 68/67/32
    Words: 1167
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 160
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2250



    Description:
       this poem is about a loss of love and struggling to find it again, any comments welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDay 4 - Burningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    D a y 4 - B u r n i n g
    m y e y e s b u r n
    t h e y h a v e n t r e s t e d i n a w h i l e
    t h e s a l t f r o m s w e a t m i x e s w i t h m y t e a r s
    a s t h e y f a l l d o w n t h e s p i r a l m ile
    e v e r y t h i n g a r o u n d m e i s o n f i r e
    y o u r s c e n t f u e l s i t s an g e r o t h i n g f o r m e w i l l e v e r b e
    a l o n e a l o n e a l o n e
    w h e r e d o i g o f r o m h e r e ?
    s i n c e i s t a y e d h e r e
    f o r h e r
    i t s a l r e a d y b e e n d o n e .
    t h i s i s n o t w h a t i w a n t
    i t s n o t w h a t i v e w a n t e d
    t h i s r o a d i w a l k a l o n e
    e m p t y o f l i f e i w a l k i t
    b u t c a n t b a r e t h e s t r i d e s
    t h i s t o n e o f d e c a y
    h a s m e w o n d e r i n g w h y i s t a y
    a n d t h i s w a l k
    d e s t r o y s m e
    k i l l s m e
    o v e r w h e l m s m e
    m e m e m e
    b u t i d i d i t f o r h e r
    t h e s t r a n g u l a t e d s c r e a m s
    s h o w a g o n y n o w a l o n e
    t h e c u t s e e m s s h o w m y mangulated a r m s
    u p t h e c e n t e r w o u l d h a v e b e e n b e t t e r
    c a r r y o n . . .
    e m b r a c e d b y t h o s e w h i s p e r s
    t h a t k e e p m e i n s a n e
    i n s a n e b y y o u
    h e r
    h e r i s w h a t i w a n t
    i t s w h a t i v e a l w a y s w a n t e d
    i t s w h a t i l l a l w a y s w a n t
    m e m e m e
    a l o n e n o w b e c a u s e o f h e r
    i b r e a t h e b u t i c a n t f e e l i n s i d e
    t h o u g h i v e t r i e d t h e r e s n o reason t o s t a y
    b u t i m h e r e
    s t i l l a l i v e
    i m h e r e
    a l o n e




    Submitted on 2006-03-27 00:34:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      the way you wrote it, the spaced words, really made more of an impact. The feeling of being ripped apart, barly hanging on.. grasping for just one more moment. The burning is alive in each line.

    Lost love, this seems to be more then just the usual breakup. I really hate to see the state of this sorrow, I was there once. My bittersweet bite of life, that is the only way I can describe love.

    You have done a wonderful job on writting this, though I hope that the pain here is not real.
    I felt as if I was reading a letter, a last call. You truly drew me into this -
    take care
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]


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