Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Walk Through The Catacombs..dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jason The Basta
    Elite Ratio:    4.69 - 191/281/68
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 920
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 878



    Description:
       FULL TITLE: A Walk Through The Catacombs With My Love


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Walk Through The Catacombs..dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ghastly, horrid, in tattered shrouds;
    Their features ravaged by decay.
    Though their faces haunt you at night,
    They are only the dead, my love.

    Lifeless they lay, fettered to doom.
    Unable to taste of our world.
    Though their eyes seem ever to stair,
    They are only the dead, my love.

    Wretched husks, devoid of all sense,
    They taunt us with our mortal fear.
    Though they encroach upon your dreams,
    They are only the dead, my love.

    Gone to dust, banished from time,
    They howl in silence from the grave.
    Though their spirits have found no peace,
    They are only the dead, my love.

    Shadow things, cast into the void
    Where we can not hope to reach them.
    Though even now they walk and breath,
    They are only the dead, my love.




    Submitted on 2006-03-27 01:53:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very chilling. I think that overall this was a very well written piece, you had good descriptions and a well put together presintation. I liked it. it didn't feel completely passionate though, not saying there was none just that maybe there could have been more.
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      i ike the part how u end every part with if only my love. Makes me think of a farther telling his little child not to be scared of the dark...


    Queen Darknesss of the grim Draco
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      Are you introducing your life to a new person?
    I think you are sharing your demons, and showing someone all your scars.

    The only thing i didn't like about this was the way each stanza ended with "they're only the dead my love." If you wrote this down without those lines, and left it at the end, you might find it to be more impactful.

    Later,
    Toby
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by afterglow | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds as if you've tapped into the purpose of the nightmare kingdom, to haunt the living with fears, regrets, the past, guilt; all beneath the surface in a subconscious cave system (where all the best monsters can find lodging as they await the darkness). Having said all that, I'm certain you'll tell me you wrote this for entirely different reasons than those I've mentioned. Oh well, let the games begin. Nice to see you posting again, Jason. Take care of yourself. Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good
    I like the way you brought attention to Negativity by showing it is just a dead feeling that one can never grow on
    Once one finds the positive to the negative they can grow on that emotion and it will lead them to happiness
    God Bless
    Ron

    By the way I am origanelly from Rahway and will be moving back to Woodbridge in about a month
    I am noe living in Redondo Beach
    I really love new Jersey
    It will always be my home

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    96586

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Wavelength written by saartha
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Bond written by saartha
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Linger written by saartha
    This written by Chelebel
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Incubus written by monad

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry