Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Walk Through The Catacombs..dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jason The Basta
    Elite Ratio:    4.69 - 191/281/68
    Words: 135
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 870
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 878



    Description:
       FULL TITLE: A Walk Through The Catacombs With My Love


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Walk Through The Catacombs..dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ghastly, horrid, in tattered shrouds;
    Their features ravaged by decay.
    Though their faces haunt you at night,
    They are only the dead, my love.

    Lifeless they lay, fettered to doom.
    Unable to taste of our world.
    Though their eyes seem ever to stair,
    They are only the dead, my love.

    Wretched husks, devoid of all sense,
    They taunt us with our mortal fear.
    Though they encroach upon your dreams,
    They are only the dead, my love.

    Gone to dust, banished from time,
    They howl in silence from the grave.
    Though their spirits have found no peace,
    They are only the dead, my love.

    Shadow things, cast into the void
    Where we can not hope to reach them.
    Though even now they walk and breath,
    They are only the dead, my love.




    Submitted on 2006-03-27 01:53:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very chilling. I think that overall this was a very well written piece, you had good descriptions and a well put together presintation. I liked it. it didn't feel completely passionate though, not saying there was none just that maybe there could have been more.
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      i ike the part how u end every part with if only my love. Makes me think of a farther telling his little child not to be scared of the dark...


    Queen Darknesss of the grim Draco
    | Posted on 2006-04-10 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]
      Are you introducing your life to a new person?
    I think you are sharing your demons, and showing someone all your scars.

    The only thing i didn't like about this was the way each stanza ended with "they're only the dead my love." If you wrote this down without those lines, and left it at the end, you might find it to be more impactful.

    Later,
    Toby
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by afterglow | [ Reply to This ]
      Sounds as if you've tapped into the purpose of the nightmare kingdom, to haunt the living with fears, regrets, the past, guilt; all beneath the surface in a subconscious cave system (where all the best monsters can find lodging as they await the darkness). Having said all that, I'm certain you'll tell me you wrote this for entirely different reasons than those I've mentioned. Oh well, let the games begin. Nice to see you posting again, Jason. Take care of yourself. Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good
    I like the way you brought attention to Negativity by showing it is just a dead feeling that one can never grow on
    Once one finds the positive to the negative they can grow on that emotion and it will lead them to happiness
    God Bless
    Ron

    By the way I am origanelly from Rahway and will be moving back to Woodbridge in about a month
    I am noe living in Redondo Beach
    I really love new Jersey
    It will always be my home

    Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    96586

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Cover written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry