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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dis Manibusdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Darth Zeus
    ASL Info:    21/F/Vacuum
    Elite Ratio:    7.31 - 369/226/34
    Words: 54
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 2014
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 369



    Description:
       When I was studying grave inscriptions with Latin, I noticed some were really sarcastic and some really made me laugh. I thought I could make one my own.
    If there are any grammar mistakes - please tell me

    Note 1: Dis Manibus (D.M.) Is a standard text which is used very often to begin grave inscriptions
    Note 2: Flavus is changed into Fred (fits better in English)
    Note 3: pulcherrimum is a superlativus, which can also be translated with 'too (pretty)' ( Or realy pretty)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDis Manibusdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Hic iacet Flavus
    Is est mortuus
    Nunc huc ad venisti
    et cogitas tumulum
    non esse pulcherrimum
    Sed nec erat is

    -

    To the shades of those who died

    Here lies Fred
    He is dead
    Now you came here
    And think (this) grave
    Is not too pretty
    But neither was he




    Submitted on 2006-03-27 12:00:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love Latin grave inscriptions. That was one of my fave parts of latin. Sum eris. Or was it Ego sum eris. Totally forget it, which is bad cuz I took it for three years. This is funny, though, I like it a lot. Reminds me of Martial's poetry, they were short and witty like this. Great job, and the Latin is amazing work.
    Be well,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2008-07-30 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      Lol. I've always wanted to learn Latin. This deed indeed make me laugh. Awesome job. Peace and inspiration!

    Duv
    | Posted on 2008-03-09 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]
      Latin! Whoopie! I love Latin, as I told you earlier. Now, this poem was made all the more funny and sarcastic because Latin is a graceful language, unlike the diverse forms of English, and you expect things to be serious. When they are not serious, the humor is tongue-in-cheek like Monty Python, and it just makes you want to give a little chorl=tle. I can see this in a graveyard themepark ride...*sighs wistfully*. I really like your latin pieces. Now, about that grammar-which-has-been-corrected-a-million-times-by-people-above, I can't say anything! Tee hee!

    ~Aetha
    | Posted on 2006-07-30 00:00:00 | by Aetha Daemon | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm... an interestingly unique piece my friend.
    I like this. Real simple and straightforward, also sort of funny. From my reading you don't really need to add a thing, this things aren't really that lengthy anyways, maybe a occassional one or so but not the majority from my knowledge.

    Keep up the good work and have a blessed and wonderful day. Your friend Jason.
    | Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
      This was good. I love the way you just strike up poems in Latin. It sounds good in Latin, but a drab in english. It was like it lacked some sort of zest, but if you are speaking of death it would defeat the very purpose of being morbid to be lively. lol. I think the simplicity was the best thing and I think you could add more to this though, with some more imagery and vivid details. Anyways, I really liked this one very much. Good work.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Janneke!

    Well, I think that you have done absolutely brilliantly here to capture both the authenticity and the humour of the latin epitaph. At first I wondered why you had chosen the name 'Flavus' for your anti hero. were you meaning he was a cowardly yellow ... that would suit the rest of the poem (!) , sallow yellow skin (hepatitis?) or even ...........................a flowery type ie crocus (Flavus flavus ..sorry, but i am a science teacher!) .... but there again you may just be calling him yellow haired, or 'blondie' like Rufus may be a redhaired chap. Whatever, it makes no difference to the piece really, except I began to relish in the cowardly yellow custard imagery of this none too pretty fellow!

    I really do not see why an earlier critique attempted to butcher your little gem. I ran it past our Latin Master (from Oxford University) this morning because he just happens to also be the examinations officer for my college and I had to enter my external examination marks .. so why not! ...and he agreed with me that as a piece it stood up fine. The only glaring error being 'venivisti' . he would like that replaced with 'ad venisti'. Other than that it is fine. Besides, you and every other latin scholar with any common sense, knows that word for word literal translations never effectively transmit the real meaning behind a piece.You did better than most to convey the humour at the expense of this poor sallowed skinned yellow haired fellow!

    Well done indeed!
    J
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very very clever idea
    I loved the origanality of this piece
    I too am sad about what the Grave stone says
    But then I read it again and realised
    This stone says one very important fact
    There is good and bad in everyone
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm never thought to read grave stones... and this one made me feel bad, i sure don't want to have an ugly grave stone because i was ugly... i guess im to kind hearted and could never do that to someone... oh well interesting write made me think for sure. I hope to hear from you soon. amber
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by amber_in_wyomin | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is an... innovative idea. But, and this is kind of nitpicky, there are definite grammar mistakes. For example, Flavus in the first line should be in the accusative, making it Flavum (I'm giving you a lenient sentence on the name, as I think it would have been Flavius, with an 'i'), logically leading the reader to the nominative forms for "is" and "mortuus" whereas they should be in the accusative as well, making them "eum" et "mortuum." In the third line, "venivisti" is not a real grammar consrtuction. I believe you were looking for the subjunctive, which would have been "venissestis," making it subjunctive, and you're assuming, so it should be in such a case. Also, in the fourth line, "cogitas" should be in plural subjunctive as well, and what you have is present active singular second person indicative, meaning you should say "cogitavissestis." Instead of "non...sed...nec" may I recommend "neque....neque"? "Neque pulcherrimum esse/Neque is esse."

    You can check with a more apt scholar, and please inform me of any grammar mistakes they catch in my tough critique of this.
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by racconeyes | [ Reply to This ]
      Latin! *attack*.
    origional. I love it. short, and by itself, not a great poem. A bit funny, but not really. The latin makes it origional. Alright peice.
    Wishing for more
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      How interesting. The title caught my eye first, I'm such a language whore you don't even know :). But then I began reading and had to read the piece. What a great way to use language (especially a 'dead' one). This made me laugh, its great. It also beings with it that thought that even though death is sad, there can be laughter found in it. Great job

    Ciao
    Brandy
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by rockunsilenced | [ Reply to This ]
      Hic iacet Flavus
    Is est mortuus
    Nunc huc ad venisti
    et cogitas tumulum
    non esse pulcherrimum
    Sed nec erat is

    Nice! Some suggestions to improve the Latin:

    Hic iacet Flavus
    Mortuus est
    Fortasse dices
    Tumulus non pulcher
    Et Flavus erat
    | Posted on 2006-06-27 00:00:00 | by Lucasfilius | [ Reply to This ]


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