Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Zyklon Bdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Black-Wall
    ASL Info:    19 - Male - Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    3.81 - 60/85/48
    Words: 469
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Dark
    Total Views: 209
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2778



    Description:
       A dark write of mine, very descriptive of what it was like during that time and with thoes people. No I am not of that faith.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsZyklon Bdots
    -------------------------------------------


    ::Voice::

    "It can be said that about one-third died straightaway. The remainder staggered about and began to scream and struggle for air. The screaming, however, soon changed to the death rattle and in a few minutes all lay still..."

    ::End Voice::
    ::Static sounds and a large door slams shut::

    Can you feel what has been felt?
    Can you see what has been seen?
    Can you die like they have died?

    Down that dirt cast road into oblivion, hearing the thoughts that angels think.
    My skin peels back and I now see the true meaning.
    I never wanted my last breath to taste like death.
    Swallow the emotion as it came raining through the air, the walls stained with blood from the bleeding eyes, finger nails grip the chunks of hair.
    Clawing in agony, I look to life and it burns like the growing fire in me.
    Lost track of convulsions, spewing crimson red and the heart panics and my body attacks.
    Why is this happening to me.

    Can you feel the chill run through your veins as the door locks and the file crosses red through your name.
    The poison will call, one last ride.
    In the back of a truck your angel has arrived.

    I scream as my lungs fill up and boil, drying my senses up.
    One last gaze into the sky, a smoke pume of what its like to be burned alive. The oven closes and the timer is thrown away.
    A chemical thought, a crime born out of genocide.

    Can you feel the chill run through your veins as the door locks and the file crosses red through your name.
    The poison will call, one last ride.
    In the back of a truck your angel has arrived.

    Soil fill my lungs once more as I and cast to the ground.
    A prayer wont do me any good, for I cant even start to believe.
    A hook is crossed through my shoulder as I am lowered down the halls, soldiers stand ready, proud and tall.
    I am chained with my mate, her love has lived forever, beyond her red stained blonde hair.
    Her life has left her.

    Can you feel the chill run through your veins as the door locks and the file crosses red through your name.
    The poison will call, one last ride.
    In the back of a truck your angel has arrived.

    I can feel it now.
    I can see it now.
    I breathe in, the door closes and I...

    ::Door closes::
    ::The sound of flames::

    :Voice:

    "Depending on the size of the bodies, up to three corpses could be put into one oven at the same time. The time required for cremation...took twenty minutes."

    ::End voice::





    Submitted on 2006-03-27 13:04:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I haven't really read many holocaust pieces so I come into this kinda new, sorry if this comment sucks.
    The effort you put into this is amazing and I've got to tell you, the graphic imagery almost made me want to retch. Sad how human beings can do such things to each other.... and still keep on living.

    I've tried imagining this to music but my mind keeps getting stuck in this broken record playing of those last few words and the door slamming shut. Not the most pleasant thing.

    You've done a great job in writing such an emotional and powerful piece and I'm sorry my comment doesn't really do it justice.

    -Jess
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by wildchild | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see that this took allot of time to write. I rarely read dark writes but I am glad I decide to stop by and read this one.
    As lyrics I don't feel much but as I read this I felt a small sense of reality for the times.
    This was a good portrayal of the Jewish holocaust and death camps during Hitler’s reign. I would not know how it feels to die this way but I am sure that anyone who had been there is not around to prove you wrong. The description was very detailed even if it is a song. Music to this would be very dark. I guess you have accomplished what you were trying for.
    I like this only because there is a sense of history to it. A story of sorts from a different perspective.
    Nicely done.

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.