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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Beastdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rastine Aristat
    ASL Info:    19/Male/California
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 125/62/31
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1895
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 891



    Description:
       This is dedicated to a friend of mine, who is helping me come to terms with the beast, weather I want to or not.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Beastdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I listen to the clatter
    Of chains within my soul
    Listen to the hating screams
    As the warg fights to gain control

    On my demon I ride down my foes
    Let it be my sword and shield.
    Protect me even from myself,
    Within my soulís battlefield.

    In time I give into itís sway.
    Stand immobilized in fear,
    Helpless as it desecrates
    The ones I hold dear.

    I pull in the reigns,
    Protection is not worth the toll
    Of lives that have been battered
    By the demonic creation of my soul.

    I keep the beast close,
    But itís rage I cannot contain.
    The warg ravages my body and mind,
    My blood pours like rain.

    A delicate decision
    Face the storm without lee;
    Or risk sacrificing the ones I love
    And set the beast free.




    Submitted on 2006-03-27 20:05:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Again, you did a very good job with this one. I loved the last stanza the most. I could connect with this poem so much it was scary. I loved the way you took us the reader through how the beast effects your everyday life and all around you as well. And how you detailed how it was a struggle to control the beast within. You have certainly written a poem that has depht and realistic meaning to all readers of yours. Good work!

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2006-04-19 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I know talent when I see it. I read one poem of u b4. And it was good, but this one is wayyy better.

    I just like how u used the "religious" metaphors to point to a problem within urself. Ur "beast" as u call it.

    I'd like to know what warg mean pls, I looked it up but nothing came up.

    Back to the poem now:
    To me it seems like every instinctive impulse that men have. If u let all ur insticts rule, u r freeing the beast, and man won't be a social creature anymore, and the 1st ones he would hurt is the ones he loves.

    I like how u drew the war, the poems shows how hard it is without the use of violent words, but uses creative imagery.

    I also like how u pictured the coming back in forth in battles. We can see the struggle where the beast wins over u:

    In time I give into itís sway.
    Stand immobilized in fear,
    Helpless as it desecrates
    The ones I hold dear.

    Then there are times where u wn and control ur beast.

    I pull in the reigns,
    Protection is not worth the toll
    Of lives that have been battered
    By the demonic creation of my soul.

    I like how u also showed how this attempt to contain ur beast is hurting u inside and how u r trying to not destroy urself and at the same time not destroy the ones u love.

    This is what I call a layere poem where each re-read gives u a different thought and a different angle.
    I can see ur beast as a struggle with alcohol, as temptation to cheat on someone u love, as rage ...

    Your poem just has "it". The flow, the imagery, the wording it all formed a full circle.
    Would not change a thing and welcome to my favorite list.

    Viviane
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by babyblue002 | [ Reply to This ]
      "The Beast" made me think of someone who had been consumed with a drug problem. I feel that every person can relate to this poem. We all have our bad times. I thought it was a great write.

    :)
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by StephE | [ Reply to This ]
      Humans have not evolved their emotions as has the body evolved. If it weren't for societal inhibitions humans would still be animalistic in nature. Who says humans did not evolve from earlier primates. The answer is obvious that humans have the animal gene. Look about you,everyone wants to be top dog. To speed that process there is hatred,lust, power struggles, bullying and murders to make that top dog ambition come true.
    The above is what I get out of "The Beast."
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      i think everyone can relate somewhat to this poem. everyone has a side to them they dont much like or appreciate. and it shames them to let it show. but it's inevitable...it comes out eventually. some more than others.

    i know i have a "beast" within me and has recently been unleashed. i would like to say it wasnt me...it was someone else who did the things that i have done. i wish it really was a beast..but it wasnt it was me. it was just hiding somewhere inside of me and it reared its ugly head. and i regret it fully.

    you do have to watch yourself. dont let the bad take over the best of you. i like this poem because it is real in a metaphorical sense. and i like that. it is definitely something people can relate to. and i think you've done a good job kind of showing the struggle between the "right" and "wrong" mentality using the "beast"...it's definitely something that can damage relationships with the people you love. so you gotta watch out for it.

    i thought this was a good write. ...i dont have much of a critique for it..sorry. but i liked it a lot. :-)
    | Posted on 2006-03-27 00:00:00 | by vintagepepper | [ Reply to This ]


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