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    dots Submission Name: spiraldots

    Author: Leon Kennedy
    ASL Info:    15/m/La
    Elite Ratio:    2.78 - 51/75/22
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1108
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 391

       i worte this for a friend. tell me if its worht giving to her.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    My life’s just a never-ending downward spiral,
    Going down into the ground,
    Crashing all my hopes and dreams,

    Maybe, right before I hit the floor,
    Ill spread my wings and fly away,
    But as of now my situations seems,

    HOPELESS, unless I find some help,
    An angel coming down beside me,
    Helping me to spread my wings

    Submitted on 2006-03-27 22:06:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this really wasn't bad but u might wanna touch up on ur emotion....you kinda gave a bit of insight and then backed off...there wasn't that much detail so maybe if you went back and added to it? but what you have is good....good luck with that, hope she likes it.
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Not bad. I can some what realate although. You need some more sustinance. Tell us more about this angel and some more about the spiral are you falling or just following a path of some sort. After what help does this angel give you that you spread your wings. I liked it. It just needed alittle something extra.
    Angie~ good luck
    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by bbcakes1115 | [ Reply to This ]
      This isn't a bad piece honestly but it does need a little revamping. The difficulties of one's life is a typpical topic to talk about but in talking about it you shoud strive for originality and detail and i'm sorry but this piece lacked in originality i think, that is only my opinion though.

    | Posted on 2006-03-28 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]

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