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    dots Submission Name: Looking For Himdots

    Author: EsCaPisT
    ASL Info:    17,Female,Singapore
    Elite Ratio:    2.25 - 42/38/38
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 687
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 778


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    dotsLooking For Himdots

    All my life i've been trying to find
    Someone who'd always dwell on my mind
    The one who tells me he's all i need
    Then he'll say i'm just a seed
    Sprouting into a bean, still a kid
    I'll laugh at how much he cares,
    I'll smile at his looks, his flairs
    He'll understand what i have to say
    Then smile and just say "It's OK."
    If i cry, he'll comfort me
    Then make me smile, he's my honey
    He respects my thoughts, although he's offended
    But it'll end up when he decided
    What's wrong,and what's right
    I wish with all my might
    That he'll come into my life
    And my one self would revive....

    Submitted on 2006-03-28 07:35:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this write. Reading this aloud, it was a little awkward, but it still works really well.
    Read it to yourself, find the part that don't make sense to you or seem out of place..
    Nip and tuck.

    I think we have all felt this way at some point or another. I certainly hope you find what you're looking for soon and hold it as long as you can.

    Over all, a good write.. you need improvement, but with practice you'll be very good. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2006-04-25 00:00:00 | by Vampirism | [ Reply to This ]

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