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    dots Submission Name: Searching for seashellsdots

    Author: ash
    ASL Info:    19/ f
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 24/33/13
    Words: 52
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 679
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 312

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    dotsSearching for seashellsdots

    I walked last night on the shore
    Warm and cold, dry and wet
    Under the shadow of the full blown moon
    Waiting for life to blossom, or death?

    I trod aimlessly for hours
    Fighting to make sense
    The first sign of dawn hit the sky
    And the waves were still tense.

    Submitted on 2006-03-29 05:37:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this a lot. I agree with Dark Dancer. The oxymorons really make the poem. Without them it would fall apart. I think that the ending line is the best. Keep writing. :D
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by RedRoseofBlood | [ Reply to This ]
      Mmm. Chills. It seems that the oxymorons here were a bit deeper than some I've recently read. There's a waiting lull, a search for the soul that's hiding just around the corner in a world full of corners. Very good. Especially liked the lines: "Under the shadow of the full blown moon
    Waiting for life to blossom, or death?"
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by Dark_Dancer | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like the first stanza that was my favourite part of the piece. The flow in this was a bit off i think the rhyming was a bit forced and didnt flow as well as it could and the piece was a little shorter than i would have liked didnt really develop much of the stryline behind it, but not a bad piece really.

    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]

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