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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: So tireddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Saint
    ASL Info:    21/Male/Boston, MA
    Elite Ratio:    3.41 - 87/119/30
    Words: 181
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 946
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1125



    Description:
       How I feel now. There are many little clues in this piece. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSo tireddots
    -------------------------------------------


    So tired
    Left in the dark
    I close my eyes
    To be spooked by a spark

    If I sleep, I will wake
    If I wake, I start a new day
    Want to stop this malevolent cycle
    In this death bed I lay

    This sadness fills me
    My eyes dry from crying
    Im waiting to sleep
    Till my heart is through trying

    So uncomfortable now
    Pull this blade off my back
    So much weaker now, I notice
    Because of the rest that I lack

    The things that destroy me
    Are under my bed
    In my thoughts, in my closet
    In these eyes bloodshot red

    If my sleep is eternal
    If my deeds are all done
    I will never have to wake
    To a dreadfull morning sun

    My Life, it just spites
    My love, it depletes
    My eyes are so heavy
    Silence shifting, it wreaths

    Silence and darkness
    Are the friends that I trust
    My eyes close, so tired
    A goodnight sleep is a must











    Submitted on 2006-03-29 06:40:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I would uncapitalize "life" in the second to last stanza. Unless you plan to capitalize "love" in the subsequent line, it's not necessary.

    You really should rest. It's not good for you to go so many nights without it. Your body needs to recover from what you go through during the day, and you're just denying yourself its natural healing process.

    "The things that destroy me
    Are under my bed
    In my thoughts, in my closet
    In these eyes bloodshot red "

    Hmm, wonder what that could mean?? So many memories never to be forgotten. Even with sleep, they still remain. Even as time passes, they remain.

    Always thought you enjoyed darkness too much. Now I see that you need it. Sleep tight. ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~Tayla~
    | Posted on 2006-04-02 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      I definately liked the poem. There was lots of good word usage and alot of things you usually relate to sleep. It flows nicely and keeps the overal mood of the poem.
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by Euphoria | [ Reply to This ]
      Hummmm i liked this one it was awesome. Keep up the good work. You could be a published artist some day. Remember life is a joke death is the truth.
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by Demon__666 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is amazing work. I can truly relate, I've felt like that before. Tired emotionally from everything and you just want to sleep but there is something holding you back. It's a beautiful poem <3 My favourite line is:

    "If my sleep is eternal
    If my deeds are all done
    I will never have to wake
    To a dreadfull morning sun"

    Amazing work once again, another one of your poems add to my favourites
    | Posted on 2006-04-14 00:00:00 | by atonement | [ Reply to This ]


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