Description: Written after a fight with my mom
due to all of the feedback you guys gave me telling me I should show it to my mom, I did. Unfortunately, she didn't quite have the same appreciation for it that you guys did, but hey, I tried, right?
Unconscious of my destroying
Unaware of the chaos I cause
Until you slammed the door
And suddenly it all hit me
Knocked me off my feet
With those words, "Why is it always about you?"
How could I be so selfish?
It's times like these that I recall
Remember all my downfalls
And my soul sufficates with this search for forgiveness
My weak attempt at an apology is all I can offer
I kneel before you, head bowed
I love you
Please don't let these wards tear you away from that
For what I said, and should have said
For what I did and should have done
THis plea for forgiveness
I offer on my knees.
this is something your mother needs to see. Theres nothing like apologizing with words as strong as these.
theres no way to critique you on writing from pure emotion like that. Whatever comes out is always the best. Trust that whenever you write and everything will come out better than you thought it could.
Moms, they do know best sometimes dont they. Sometimes we forget to put ourselves in the shoes of others...like our mothers for example. Some mothers arent that great, granted...just as selfish as a child they can be...but the good moms are always the ones that have the guts to say what they see their children are acting like...an try to persuade them to be a better person. This is just what I get from your poem, and no matter what a person thinks, a good mother will always accept her childs apology, regardless of how feable it may seem to the child. You had a few spelling errors in this though...but I compliment you for the truthfulness in this write.
this is a touching peice, i have been there and had the fights with my parents and then felt like i should have been more mature and handled it better, so on the sense of begging their forgiveness and such i can totally relate, now for a literal sense there was tons of emotion in this peice and it is very evident but personally i thought that the flow was a bit off now you might have intended for that but i personally thought it made it a little bit difficult to follow along with and reach that full emotion packed ending, if that makes anysense. i think the thending few lines are my favorite though because it shows the remorse you feel for the actions you took in this argument with your mom, i hope that you show this to your mom and i also hope that you two work it all out as me and my parents do... i hope that everything works out...Joy
This is a really great write I hope you show this to your Mother I too have these same little fights with my Mom and Dad But Thank God The Unconditional Love of a Parent to their child always shines thru Great Write God Bless Ron