[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: 21 yearsdots

    Author: chikaz4life
    ASL Info:    21/f
    Elite Ratio:    4.64 - 15/16/5
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 817
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 485

       a reflection of somethings gone through

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots21 yearsdots

    Her birthday fast approaches
    Oh how fast 21 years has past
    Lived upon this earth
    Filled with happiness, pain
    And tears as well as love
    Anger and fear.
    Her girl hood dreams
    There is nothing but a sweet memory
    As her innocence was long ago taken
    There is nothing rose colored
    As she thinks of the little girl
    Who would be five
    And the exchange of vows
    That will never take place

    Submitted on 2006-03-29 18:36:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This is very touching, very sad. I can relate to certain parts, especially about the child. It is very scary, very hard, but worse when you never actually get the chance to have that child (if you're interested, you can read my poems "Memories Remain" to understand a little better what I mean by that). It has almost been a year for me, I'm 17 now, but it still hurts to think about it. Anyway, this was a nice write that I can definitely relate to. Great job. ...bb...

    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a good poem. It says so much in not many words and captures many years of life experiences in a short little poem. This sounds very difficult as this person, perhaps you, has gone through a lot and you are young. I cant imagine having a child at 16 years old and how scary that must be. There could be many interpretations to your words. I hope my analysis isnt too far off what you were saying here. It sounds like you have faced many challenges so far in your life. Best wishes to you. Take care.

    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Your poem is heartfelt. It seems to have so much in it and yet, there is so much missing. Having a child at 16 must have been hard enough especially if you are on your own. The poem makes me wonder whether the child was put up for adoption because there was no father present or whether a cruel twist of fate took the father and child from the mother. Whatever, the middle part is, I feel it is especially painful for you and you have revealed only the surrounding, more bearable parts, or is it the other way round? Either way, it's a lovely but sad write. Take care. Mel.
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by litllost | [ Reply to This ]
      It would seem that your writing is of deep sadness and sorrow for the loss of a child. Even though many years have past their is still the memories that continue to visit...especially when the childs birthday comes along. I personally have a close friend who's 16 year old son was killed in a car accident. Every year she can't help but ponder in the pain of her loss. A death of a child for the parents must be one of the most of heartfelt pains experienced by a human being. This writing carries all of those thoughts to the continual conclusion of what could have been a wonderful life. Kenny Chesney has a song out on his latest CD that also tells this story. Everytime I hear it I think of my friend and her son. I can feel the pain. God Bless. Dennis
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by Daokao | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]