Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To a mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: james110182
    Elite Ratio:    2.85 - 46/48/33
    Words: 148
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 830
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 832



    Description:
       I just don't know what to say. I wanted to say this to her, but I don't think she will care like I want her to care. You can't get what you want. Well fuck that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo a mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Some things can mean the world to a man.
    A hand shake or the look of a quiet friend.
    The helping hand of a stranger.

    It is the things that make him feel pain that mean the most.
    Departing with a person he never knew mattered.
    Losing when he had never tried so hard before.

    You know the truth as it slides down your face.
    I have told you a time or two before.
    I am not worth what you give.

    A man never knows he is a man.
    Till the wind threatens his bones.
    Yet still he waits there.

    You may think I am stupid,
    Or just mistaken about my love.

    You may think I am a liar.
    I will still tale it to you as many times as you will let me.

    I love you.
    That doesn’t take a man.




    Submitted on 2006-03-29 19:27:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really enjoyed the direction of this poem. I like how it starts out in a general relationships of what a man is, and how it changes into a more personal effect. My favorite lines include "You know the truth as it slides down your face." Beautiful imagery, and it has a nice sound and feel to it, another is "I love you./ That doesn't take a man." That line completely twists the poem at the end, leaving a somewhat satisfied feeling of the poem's feel= Nice touches on making me feel the frustration.

    As much as I like the poem's ending the line stanza beginning with "a man never knows he is a man.." makes the poem a bit unclear. It asks the question Is the writer considering himself a man or not?... Clarity could be used on whether the writer thinks he has had "the wind threaten his bones."
    Overall, I liked the word choice, and freedom of the poem.
    -kiwiki
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by Kiwiki | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmmmmmmmm this was nice and your definition of a man is alot different then females see it. anyway this was nice. the last line was the kicker

    xoxo
    that girl

    this is a fave and i dont have many
    | Posted on 2006-03-29 00:00:00 | by sweet sorenity | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    96959

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Beauty Rest written by jackz

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry