Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Surrenderdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BreakAndFall
    ASL Info:    18/f/mo
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 115/153/59
    Words: 51
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 742
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 295



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSurrenderdots
    -------------------------------------------


    As a sword taken to my heart
    A vial filled with poison
    I begin my end, this is the start
    Of my long awaited rest
    If I can't see his face once more
    Can't hold his hand in mine
    My blood I'll spill upon the floor
    And end my sad misery




    Submitted on 2006-03-30 09:27:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Jenn, do you see why I worry about you? I love you. I want to make you happy in any way possible. Even if I have to give up what I want. I'd give my life if it meant you'd be with Nate.
    | Posted on 2006-04-05 00:00:00 | by Darkstar9500 | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think you should put this under 'cutting or mutilation' Firstly because it scares people of, they might not want to read it for that reason, and secondly because i think it simply does not fit. You can ofcourse think of this as about cutting, but most of the times poems with this theme are about the action itself, and this is more about losing a love, longing, or something else. Maybe you should consider that.
    The poem itself, I like it. It's not really original of course, but still liked the wording. By the way, with this line

    If I can't see his face one more

    Do you mean once more, or one more time but left out 'time'


    Darth Zeus
    | Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by Darth Zeus | [ Reply to This ]
      anothere good write you have a way of showing a lot of emotion you say a lot in this poem in very little words good job
    | Posted on 2006-04-15 00:00:00 | by reedo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    97030

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry