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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Raredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lori_tab
    ASL Info:    27/f/alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.33 - 1752/1517/481
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 703
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 566



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRaredots
    -------------------------------------------


    useless and confused
    she was dancing in the November when the aged were aging ages
    no one knew that she had gold underneath her knee caps
    but someday when she is boarding a plane the metal detector will go off and she will have to tell them
    and they will wonder how it got there
    but it grew
    because she was so rare
    that diamonds fell from her eyes
    it was no illusion
    it was no mistake
    this girl was valuable, and unique in a physically obvious way
    and no one knew that she was that pretty




    Submitted on 2006-03-30 12:03:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "it was no illusion
    it was no mistake
    this girl was valuable, and unique in a physically obvious way
    and no one knew that she was that pretty"

    Good stuff. Very good stuff. Not sure what else to say. But... well I did enjoy the above lines the most. I feel that most people don't see beauty the way I do, but I believe that you see best with your heart not your eyes. Great write.

    Kyle
    | Posted on 2006-08-10 00:00:00 | by owlman23 | [ Reply to This ]
      The entire poem/lyric worked so well in concert it amazed me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I can see you behold one quite well. It's funny how the pretty ones never stand out. Those are the ones I fall in love with, it seems. Dream on, write on, float on, move on; your talent exceeds you.
    Wishing for more
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      "she was dancing in the November when the aged were aging ages", that is a great line. I don't know why, I just love it. Anyway, this is another good poem. You're on a roll Jaz. Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Draigon | [ Reply to This ]
      How pretty...I am so glad it's not another weird one about a little boy playing with his penis...I tend to go back and copy my favorite parts to take up space, and because I feel the need to share the things that I loved about the poems that I read...I think it's important for the writer to know what touched their readers...so here are my favorite lines...

    but it grew
    because she was so rare
    that diamonds fell from her eyes
    it was no illusion
    it was no mistake
    this girl was valuable, and unique in a physically obvious way
    and no one knew that she was that pretty

    Maybe a little excessive on my part, but it's just so pretty...
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      hmm, spiffy yet understated...im thinking a minute....yup, its spiffy
    | Posted on 2006-08-29 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


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