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    dots Submission Name: Breakingdots

    Author: bbcakes1115
    ASL Info:    22/f/ut
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 35/27/16
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 849
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701

       Just pissed at my husband one night and this is all I could write. I don't understand it but maybe you will.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Take these chains of hatred
    That you let break my soul

    Let me be the warrior
    That you have often known

    Keep your feelings from me
    And make me guess your fate

    Believe in me a liar
    Don't just breed with your hate

    Remember all the good times
    Forget all the bad

    Keep your head up high
    Don't break upon the sad

    Believe in yourself
    Believe in me

    Don't take pitty
    On what you see

    Leave the hatred for me
    Left in a deepened cellar

    Cause all that you are doing
    Is breaking the heart in me

    Submitted on 2006-03-30 12:27:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Wow! I mean wow! I really like this poem, it's dark and depressing yet lighting and insightful. You really give out the emotion and the reader can feel it. This is a great write.
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
      well .... i really feel the way you feel now.. well things are like this in this life well.. i think it was a good poem and i can relate to that (many people say that one writing is god if you can relate to that one) .. well i think that is not true.. well i can relate to this one and i can see that it was well structured. .. and i see that the wording is jut good.. but not great.. i mean .,.. some repetition of words.. well you hould avoid that .. so thanks for sharing you have a good writing here.. and i hope you can check out more of my writing and lease leave a comment...
    peace and love and
    take care
    have a nice day
    keep writing
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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