~Garden of Shame by .:Chelsea:.

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Submission Name: ~Garden of Shame dots

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Author:	.:Chelsea:.
ASL Info:	14/female
Elite Ratio:	3.57 - 12/11/12
Words:	209

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	150
Average Vote:	5.0000
Bytes:	1240

Description:
i was just thinkin bout stuff and this kind of came out...i like it and i guess i am kind of venting...just let me no wat u think

~Garden of Shame dots

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I’m walking through the garden now
things are racing through my head
I don’t know where to go from here
I regret the things unsaid

I cant go back to the moments that
are lost and forever gone
I tremble as I remember the pain
I caused to the ones I loved

wandering through this garden now,
what have I become?
The emblem of despair and grief
a leader 4 those unloved

is this who I want to be?
Is their life left for me to change?
I need to get out of here...
the garden of shame

how did i come this far
without stopping to realize
they were all withdrawn from me
I was sorrow in their eyes

I cant keep living life like this
I need someone by my side
to scare away the part of me
that now controls my life

I’m calling out now
I need someone to show me how
to live in a way that brings light,
cause I’m sick of all the darkness,
I’m sick of this life

this isn’t who I want to be
I know there’s time 2 change
I finally made it out of there...
The garden of shame

Submitted on 2006-03-30 13:50:50 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
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||| Comments |||
  cool those are sum really strong feelings sea... wat r u ashamed of? nice job btw as always mikie
| Posted on 2006-04-13 00:00:00 | by mikie... | [ Reply to This ]
  I really loved this Chels, it was so emotional and honest i could really connect with it. A really good write.

Smiles,
Jay.
| Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by Flowerinbloom | [ Reply to This ]
  Hmmm... a interesting vent. I like this for I feel persons will be able to relate to this. You did a very nice job with the garden of shame metaphor and your use of imagery was fairly good too. On the whole a fairly good write.

Keep up the good work and have a blessed and wonderful day.
| Posted on 2006-04-03 00:00:00 | by Departed One | [ Reply to This ]
  well i think we all suffer this kind of feeling in all our lives adn your describe it very well .. but well you used some 2 instead of "to", and 4 instead of "for", it will not help readers in case they do not know what you want to say by a 4 or 2, and another thing is like i said in your another writing , it is lack of metaphores and pictures and symbols .. you should use them to make this writing a better environment , where your readers will be engaged to ..
so try to do it next time
and good effort
keep writing and thanks for sharing and if you have time pleae take a look to my writing i would really appreciate it
take care
peace and love
and have a nice day
Victor
| Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
  that was really good. and very relatable. id add how i think that it should be fixed but i think that it is already perfect. i have no advice to give.
and now i am just writing another line
x0x0x
kla
| Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by chookie101 | [ Reply to This ]
  Great poem. I really connected with the theme and the flow. Im lost for words.... great poem.
| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by DEFyuare | [ Reply to This ]
  to live alone is pain lets help one another live through the shame and gain true friends and give true acts of kindness welcome to the site
| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by littlepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  wow, im feeling similar to this....
lots of emotion and repentance
i enjoyed reading this and i look forward to reading more of your work
lotsaluv
nadine
god bless
| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by lostspirit | [ Reply to This ]

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