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Author: Krinchinian
ASL Info:    20/f/pa
Elite Ratio:    3.12 - 164 /231 /84
Words: 108
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1240
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 689



Description:


For my creative writing class we had to write a poem and use the words purple, chaotic, careless, memphis, drumbeat, and antagonist. so this is my beautiful creation.


lost



Lost inside myself
Lieing until I'm purple in the face
My life has turned chaotic
How did I become so careless?
What's happened to me
I've become my own antagonist
Always beating up on myself
My heart got lost in Memphis
And i fear never getting it back
How will I ever move on
Knowing my heart is lost forever
I've gotta learn to march to a new drumbeat
One of my very own creation
How can one blend into society
And yet feel like such an outkast
My worst nightmare is hidden deep inside
For if it escapes I will be lost forever
Inside my own prison




Submitted on 2006-03-30 15:54:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I like this poem, the flow worked will. But I have to say it is not all that orginal, but thats okay. I really liked and I hope one day things will get better for you. I pray the best.
| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't think it is that bad at all. Not the most original, but neither are anybody elses around here.
I think I know what you mean about losing your heart in Memphis. I lost mine in Savannah and then found it and then lost it in Berea. I think I need to quit lending it to people. It never seems to come back. Anyway you have some potential so keep writing. The more you do it the worse you get, but the more people like it.
| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by james110182 | [ Reply to This ]
  I've gotta learn to march to a new drumbeat
One of my very own creation
How can one blend into society

i would delete those lines
well a little creeping and disorganized writing from my point of view, but well you have to use some special words and that is not easy for a writer ...so it would mean that it is a good writing ... well ... but i think free verse is better anyway ... we as writers do not have to use special words to write a poem... our imagination do not have to be forced ... so keep writing .. a good one still
thanks for sharing and if you have time please take a look to my writings and leave a comment please ...
take care
peace and love
and have a nice day
victor
| Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]


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