[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The shadowdots

    Author: demolitionlover
    ASL Info:    18/F/MI
    Elite Ratio:    2.1 - 12/31/23
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 739
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 555

       A poem about a long-lost friend

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe shadowdots

    Helplessly, I stood alone
    And watched her try to drown her sorrows
    Bottle after bottle,
    Until the pain finally lifted.
    The ground was cold, and the sky black
    The night I mourned her shadow
    As she lay still on the floor.
    Time was everlasting
    The day awoke, shaded with regret.
    Death moves in full-speed
    Leaving no time for the living.
    As life parted from her flesh,
    Sunlight touched her face.
    One last spark to be seen in her eyes,
    Then night stole her away.

    Submitted on 2006-03-30 18:29:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i can really relate to this piece but i dont know if its the same way. i do like some of the imagery and whatnot, it was simple and got to the point, and i dont think it needed much to get there.
    keep writing,

    | Posted on 2006-09-17 00:00:00 | by BleedingTears | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting piece. It has good everything; ( deff., feeling, structure...), but I'm unsure as to who or how it portrays. Are you watching this happen to someone or is it a vision of yourself?? Idk. well, good write. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-03-30 00:00:00 | by night_angel | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    To written by SavedDragon
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Giving written by jjd
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]