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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: this time.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ellesmera
    ASL Info:    16. Female. Hiding in bed
    Elite Ratio:    1.61 - 42/254/106
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 177
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 704



    Description:
       uhum.. wat was i on when i wrote this? *cringe*
    it was just after a breakupwith my boyfriend, (around the same time th rumers inspired me to write i stand alone) he had cheated on me and i needed to let out some feeling.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthis time.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I need some time,
    To understand your games,
    I need to know,
    How to take away my pains,
    I need to live,
    My heart to mend,
    In time,
    I need you,
    To leave me alone.

    This time…
    You’ve gone too far,
    This time….
    I won’t let you,
    Make the first move.
    This time……
    I will be the one to strike
    Next time…..
    There won’t be one.

    You need to go,
    Run away,
    Save your rows for another day,
    You need to move,
    Before I do…

    Checkmate! You’re gone!

    My deed is done!


    This time….
    I WON!




    Submitted on 2006-03-31 06:19:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i luv the lines "next time...there wont be one." it was brilant the last 3 parts there are great. i great i luv your style of writing. its not to angsy but it has the saddness to it. my sugestion tho, work more on imagery.
    | Posted on 2006-11-02 00:00:00 | by Adden Lee | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem confuses me. It seems like it is all over the place. I don't really think it flows. It flows pretty well, I think, until the last stanza and the lines after it. I'm not quite sure how you can change it. But I think it needs to flow a little bit more. Keep writing!

    STAY STRONG
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by SOS33 | [ Reply to This ]
      very good well done
    | Posted on 2006-10-05 00:00:00 | by draconus | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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