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LIFE


Author: Kelly17
ASL Info:    25/f/NY
Elite Ratio:    2.38 - 17 /8 /10
Words: 314
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1020
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1943



Description:


I guess this was my way of venting without doing something I would regret later on...


LIFE



The pain sears my insides
I see the familiar road I'm traveling on
An unpleasant one from the past
The more I try to turn it around
The faster foward I seem to go
I refuse to go back there
To that dark lonely place
One filled to the brim with self doubt
Self hate and that intense longing to escape
There are no magical pills to help
Nothing that can ease the pain for more than a few hours
I take one last swig, hoping for an escape into another world
Even if it lasts only for a short time
Opening the draw
I'm amazed it's still there
Amazed I hadn't noticed it in so long
It's cold, but still as shiny and sharp as ever
Looking longfully at it
it begs me for attention once again
"I'll make everything feel better,
It'll be like it used to," it says
I believe in it's power to solve my pain
As I push the cool metal against my pale skin
Quickly the crimson liquid starts flowing
Allowing the pain to escape
Two helps it move out faster
And three can only work better
After the fifth I wipe off the blade
Storing it back in it's home
I light a cigarette inhaling deeply
And exhaling at a slow steady pace
Watching the crimson puddle,
That is forming beneath my arm
For a moment my body feels only the sting in my arm
And I wish I had pushed just a little bit harder
Gone just a little bit deeper
Something that would have let all the pain seep out
Made it vanish for good
And as I open another bottle
I inhale once more
Deeper that I thought possible
Allowing more of the deadly smoke that is engulfing me to fill my lungs
Pushing the draw shut
I think to myself
Maybe next time




Submitted on 2006-03-31 11:52:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  THe only thing you could add to improve it would be some more punctuation, something like this:

The pain sears my insides...
I see the familiar road I'm traveling on,
An unpleasant one from the past.
The more I try to turn it around
The faster foward I seem to go.
I refuse to go back there;
To that dark lonely place,
One filled to the brim with self doubt,
Self-hate and that intense longing to escape.

Just to get you started! otherwise very emotional!
| Posted on 2007-01-23 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a well written poem. You do a nice job with description here and allowing the reader to really see all that is happening. I have never understood this act of cutting myself but it seems so many do this to themselves. I just cant seem to understand how it can help someone feel better. It would seem to me that it could only bring on more pain, not just the emotional pain that the person feels but also a physical pain as well. I guess I may never understand this. But anyway, as far as this poem goes, it is well written and expressed. You capture this experience well with your words and also the feelings of depression and sadness that go along with it. A good write. Take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2006-04-11 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  This is good and very emotional. It really keeps the reader sucked in and you get a good visual helping to feel and better understand what it is your feeling.

To honeslty say everyone has felt something similur to this and I am going through bad depression so I can relate. I like this poem and you did a wonderful job really expressing yourself and comparing what you feel to things that give great visuals. Nice job and good luck getting through this.
| Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]


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