The pain sears my insides
I see the familiar road I'm traveling on
An unpleasant one from the past
The more I try to turn it around
The faster foward I seem to go
I refuse to go back there
To that dark lonely place
One filled to the brim with self doubt
Self hate and that intense longing to escape
There are no magical pills to help
Nothing that can ease the pain for more than a few hours
I take one last swig, hoping for an escape into another world
Even if it lasts only for a short time
Opening the draw
I'm amazed it's still there
Amazed I hadn't noticed it in so long
It's cold, but still as shiny and sharp as ever
Looking longfully at it
it begs me for attention once again
"I'll make everything feel better,
It'll be like it used to," it says
I believe in it's power to solve my pain
As I push the cool metal against my pale skin
Quickly the crimson liquid starts flowing
Allowing the pain to escape
Two helps it move out faster
And three can only work better
After the fifth I wipe off the blade
Storing it back in it's home
I light a cigarette inhaling deeply
And exhaling at a slow steady pace
Watching the crimson puddle,
That is forming beneath my arm
For a moment my body feels only the sting in my arm
And I wish I had pushed just a little bit harder
Gone just a little bit deeper
Something that would have let all the pain seep out
Made it vanish for good
And as I open another bottle
I inhale once more
Deeper that I thought possible
Allowing more of the deadly smoke that is engulfing me to fill my lungs
Pushing the draw shut
I think to myself
Maybe next time |
Submission Name: LIFE
