I really liked the feel of this one & it was a bit melancholy but romantically. I loved, "Tears
linger along
the shore line;" that just brought a vision to my mind of searching and waiting though the waves are crashig upon the shore touching it all along.
This was very nice! I think this was incredibly beautiful and I agree with vintage, the last stanza makes the poem what it is. I love poems that incorporate nature into them. And when I think about the sun and the moon playing, I think of an eclipse, how the two cross paths... Sounds kind of like love, doesn't it? This was a great poem, and definitely a favorite. ...bb...
one. love the title two. love the content. three. love the short length of the stanzas
i really liked this poem. i love the way you've played a lot of natural elements into this. giving it a sort of earthly, kind of immortal, in-human tone.
and i love the message of it. it is specific yet vague enough to apply to multiple different situations. and thats great.
i must say i think without that last stanza this simply would not be complete. i think that was a very nice touch
and this,
"Captivate the eternal star. place it in your palm.
I gave this to you to show you who you are."
is by far my favorite part of this poem.
this was very nicely done in my mind. i rather enoyed this piece of yours!
Submission Name: I am the moon, you are my sun.
