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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To that certain someonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Imaginth
    Elite Ratio:    5.18 - 43/50/19
    Words: 213
    Class/Type: Prose/Love
    Total Views: 1011
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1115



    Description:
       I am in love and I mean it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo that certain someonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is to that certain someone:

    Everytime I look into those gorgeous baby blue eyes I melt into a puddle. They put me into a trance and I forget all about the hustle and bustle of the world. Everything that troubled me just disappears into a dark oblivion not to be seen. This wonderous bliss brings me back to you everyday. On the brink of tears I know I can come to you. Never to be judged or rejected. My self conscience and anxieties leave me refreshed when I peer into those pools of glistening waterfalls you have for eyes. The endless amounts of happiness flow out of those eyes. It is my own little piece of paradise meant and perfected for just the two of us. I do not question my decisions to look helplessly in love while gazing upon those sunsets of seas you have for eyes. My heart fills with joy when I see those two eyes sneaking a second look at me. Though your baby blue eyes are just one of the things I love about you, I wish I could spill all my secrets to you.

    I wish with all my heart that I could tell you this:

    I love you forever and for always.




    Submitted on 2006-03-31 19:19:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Too much eyes! ><
    But I really liked it. You were very detailed. But you could've put it like this:

    Everytime I look into those gorgeous baby blue eyes I melt into a puddle. They put me into a trance and I forget all about the hustle and bustle of the world.

    Everything that troubled me just disappears into a dark oblivion not to be seen. This wonderous bliss brings me back to you everyday.

    On the brink of tears I know I can come to you. Never to be judged or rejected.

    My self conscience and anxieties leave me refreshed when I peer into those pools of glistening waterfalls you have for eyes. The endless amounts of happiness flow out of those eyes. It is my own little piece of paradise meant and perfected for just the two of us.

    I do not question my decisions to look helplessly in love while gazing upon those sunsets of seas you have for eyes.

    My heart fills with joy when I see those two eyes sneaking a second look at me. Though your baby blue eyes are just one of the things I love about you, I wish I could spill all my secrets to you.

    I wish with all my heart that I could tell you this:

    I love you forever....

    and for always.


    Other than that, I love it! I wish my crush had baby blue eyes. Sadly, they're the color of poop. -.-'
    -Beth
    | Posted on 2007-06-21 00:00:00 | by crimson_panda | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Mari except on the bit about using eyes too much. If I felt this was something meant to be critiqued I would agree but this seems more like a place where we can all come and go aaaaaaaaaaaaaw. I loved that part about sneaking a second look at you. I love catching my boyfriend doing that. It's so cute and it makes me smile. He also has like seafoam greenish blue eyes. Eyes are fun. : )

    Kudos.
    ~Venia
    | Posted on 2007-04-12 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, I believe it when you say you are in love and you mean it. So I feel I would be trespassing if I so much as put a word here. Your entire heart seems to be fixed upon his eyes, I can tell that. The eyes are the windows to the soul, right?

    One thing I do have to point out, though it seems terribly intruding of me to do so, is that you could lessen the use of the word "eyes". You were doing good in using the imagery, and the reader can tell what you are talking about without referring to "eyes" again. It's a bit tiresome.

    That's about it... keep up!

    Mari
    | Posted on 2006-03-31 00:00:00 | by Mariqueri | [ Reply to This ]


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