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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Prisondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: obscureskies
    ASL Info:    19/F/Fredericton NB
    Elite Ratio:    2.34 - 11/17/15
    Words: 297
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 872
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1806



    Description:
       Wrote this one in '04.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYour Prisondots
    -------------------------------------------


    inside of me there is a child
    who wandered into loving arms
    warm and safe she stayed awhile
    thinking there could be no harm
    awaiting in the dark
    until one day a tiny spark
    ignited; set her dreams ablaze
    she had no home; she ran for days
    everything that she had known
    had tranformed into something strange
    she found herself to be alone
    her whole life had been rearranged

    baby steps and childish notions
    canít control these wild emotions
    Iím running out of things to say
    to make this madness go away
    I want to tell you to let go
    and let me go back to my home
    but you wonít let me run away
    in your prison I must stay

    seems Iíve seen this all before
    wasnít I just at this place?
    decrepit house with sunken in floors
    running in cirlces canít erase
    your imagine from my mind
    Iím haunted by you all the time
    youíve got me; now please let me go
    Iím flammable; Iím gonna blow up
    everything that used to be
    wonít leave my mind; itís always there
    why is it that you canít see
    my heartís been torn; this isnít fair

    baby steps and childish notions
    canít control these wild emotions
    Iím running out of things to say
    to make this madness go away
    I want to tell you to let go
    and let me go back to my home
    but you wonít let me run away
    in your prison I must stay

    my world is burning down
    I donít know where I am
    my heart is never free
    this is destroying me
    I canít escape this place
    I only see your face
    Iím begging on my knees
    let me go home please




    Submitted on 2006-04-01 00:42:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love how you put this piece together. The flow was a little off in some parts, but still very good. THe only thing is, the phrase blow up, it doesn't really fit. It's too short and rude sounding in this poem. You kind of used fragile words, very deep sounding ones. But otherwise, so it stands out a little bit too much. But still, wow... great write.

    ~Emanol
    | Posted on 2006-04-01 00:00:00 | by emanol | [ Reply to This ]


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